The personal abuse thread.

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For those of us who enjoy hurling random abuse, pointlessly at our so-called friends.

To get the ball rolling; Adamant believes his stalking success flows from his inability to wear underwear and Finnbear .270 is a shy and retiring ex-egg turner for a multi-national pheasant rearing concern.

Come on then youse b'stards, I'll take you all on!
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  1. widows son's Avatar
    Amir you don't want me to go there do you that could start another Iranian conflict
  2. Tayfix's Avatar
    How did your girl friends elephant turn out?
  3. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by widows son
    Amir you don't want me to go there do you that could start another Iranian conflict
    Bring it on you hill-dwelling eater of unmentionables!

  4. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Tayfix
    How did your girl friends elephant turn out?
    Good mate, it was featured in a national newspaper and the bidding war intensifies.

    How's tricks?

    Can you see my influence?
  5. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by brendar7639
    What's up everyone, I'm new to the forum and just wanted to say hey. Hopefully I posted this in the right section!

    <spam link deleted>
    **** off you utter cock.

    Honestly, could you be so actually stupid?

    Please don't take this the wrong way but could your mother have not reached for the flush rather than the phone when the contractions started?

    Silly old moo.
    Updated 17-06-2010 at 11:19 by csl (remove spam link)
  6. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Going well Lads, let's keep this up!
  7. Mannlicher_Stu's Avatar
    You lot cant insult me I have been insulted by experts and non of you fit in that category not only that you are intoxicated with your own exhuberance and seem to wallow in your own tanacity
  8. Grandhubert's Avatar

    You think so sunshine?

    I'll give you one chance to blame the free-range and organic use of the English language above on the booze before I fall to!
  9. Adamant's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Tayfix
    How did your girl friends elephant turn out?

    Is 'your girlfriend's elephant' a sexual euphemism? Is it the size of an elephant?Does it smell like an elephant? Is it grey and wrinkled like an elephant? Can it pick up buns? Do tell - pictures would help.

    What national newspaper was her 'elephant' featured in - I didn't know The Telegraph had a reader's wives section.

    By the way, I dare not insult you again - when I accused you of looking like a man who dressed as if he'd been fired from an cannon through an Oxfam shop, you got all huffy with me...
  10. Tayfix's Avatar
    Very good Adam, I feel there is going to be more abuse on its way to you....
  11. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Only subsequent to the departure of the actual, fibreglass, elephant that "Girlfriend's elephant has become a sexual euphemism....

    I have been, and there is only one word for it, inspiring.

    My objection to your previous and false errata on the subject of clothing is simply that I expected better from you.

    You the bloke.

    Had I realised I was dealing with a Liberace-esque attention to sartorial correctness I would have course worn something similar to the leather trousers, close-cropped hair and moustache combo you were rocking.

    Forgive my terrible, terrible faux pas.....
    Updated 23-06-2010 at 15:38 by Grandhubert
  12. Adamant's Avatar
    Never mind my leather trousers (Harkila don't you know), moustache (modelled on Franco Nero's in Force 10 from Navarone ) and no.1 razor job - what on earth are you wearing in that picture you've posted of yourself - Photoshopped I might add, because you are just a tiny bit portlier than that in the flesh.

    What were you thinking? Even a single glance in the mirror might have signalled that you were LOOKING JUST THE TINIEST BIT GAY...

    In fact that outfit you're sporting shouts 'man with an arse like a windsock' - plus I'm now beginning to suspect you may have had more work done on your last trip to Thailand (although I note you let it be known on here and other fora that you were away hunting). To think I'm going to Africa with you - and you know what happens out there when they discover a chap's a little light on his loafers because he's batting for the other side. I'd play down the sequins if I were you - perhaps just on your special stalking thong?
  13. Grandhubert's Avatar
    In case it has escaped either your attention or all six of your fingers the gentleman in the photo is not me, rather the gentleman in the photographs you were shown when you had been naughty as a child and informed that his suffering was your fault.

    I note his tiara appears not be of thorns however.
  14. finnbear270's Avatar
    Actually, egg turning is a highly skilled activity usually performed three times daily, one of these periods has to be around three a.m., I am a very skilled egg turner,............ but the eggs were from the Ostrich genus......... this is why I have very well developed forearms & upper body strength.......... this also comes in handy for lifting glasses of beer & such like, pies also go upward with the same ease.
  15. IanF's Avatar
    Can't help but notice a disparaging reference to 'the leather trousers, close-cropped hair and moustache combo', in a manner that suggested that such accoutrements are somehow less than manly.

    Now listen carefully to what I say, you living proof that a single cell lifeform can indeed mutate into a lower order of existence.

    I would have you know that such a clothing combination not only represents a pinnacle of sartorial elegance to which a middle eastern donkey walloper can only dream to aspire, but also shows the practicality that put the very 'Great' into Great Britain.

    A dashingly cropped hair style, offers that clean and manly look that denies all but the most errant Ked a foothold, whilst enabling a pleasing contre-point to a stylish flat cap.

    The neatly trimmed moustache underlines the importance of sporting a regal anglo-saxon nose, and indeed in battle can actually save your life. Combed out, the contents can be added to a steaming bowl of water to produce a thick and nourishing gruel - vital when the only survival option is canabalising a carcass redolent of persian spices with a lethal garlic level.

    Lastly, we view the practicality of a set of leather fronted trousers.

    Far from being the preserve of one of those 'up hill gardening' types, this form of hosiery is actually ideally suited to the deer stalker who actually does get out and stalk the Monarch of the Glen. The sort of chap who enters woodland and at once becomes part of the natural order of things as he assumes the role of predator. Moving as silently as mist through fog, thorns and briars ease quietly aside before him, whilst barbed wire is crossed without testicular concerns.

    The chap sporting this sort of apparel, laughs at the sight of stinging nettles & can bog snorkel as a speed approaching that achieved by a killer whale closing on a swimming labrador puppy. In short, donning them allows the performance of almost super-human feats of stalking excellence!

    ... & the lovely Joanne thinks they mek me arse look well wicked!


    Moi !
    Updated 30-06-2010 at 22:55 by IanF
  16. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Ooo 'eck! Ian saw the comment about the trousers......
  17. Mannlicher_Stu's Avatar

    You think so sunshine?

    I'll give you one chance to blame the free-range and organic use of the English language above on the booze before I fall to! :D[/QUOTE]

    I cant understand why there isnt a picture of you on the forum is it that you sken like a bag of whelks:D
  18. Dan Gliballs's Avatar
    Bunch o' w**kers
  19. Grandhubert's Avatar
    Oh aye?

    And what might your hobbies be, popeye forearms?

    Mate! mate this way mate......
  20. Paul at Fechan's Avatar
    This is wrong.... you should all dine on 'blue waffle' for punishment.

    ps. Google it in a pictures search if you don't know what I'm talking about.
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