I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . .. .It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him Bradford.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.