Donald Trump was visiting Scotland to view his latest land acquisition for which he had plans to add golf courses, wind & solar power farms, a marina and an airport.
Wee Angus was deputised to show Mr Trump around the place and when they reached the far side of the estate they came across a tiny croft.
"JEEZ. WHATS THAT" said Mr Trump (he SHOUTS a lot?).
"That" replied wee Angus "Is ma hoos".
"YOUR HOUSE? JEEZ, IN THE MIGHTY USA WE GOT DOG KENNELS BIGGER THAN THAT"
On they wandered along a lane when a vintage Austin 7 came in the opposite direction.
"WTF IS THAT"?
"Och, thats a lovely old car which the owner has had from new".
A CAR!!! IN AMERICA THAT DAMN THING WOULD FIT IN THE TRUNK OF MOST OF MY CARS".
Further along they came across a farmer forking over the new season's potatoes.
"WHAT THE DAMN ARE THOSE TINY THINGS"?
"They, Sir, are new potatoes" replied the farmer.
POTOTOES? I DON"T DAMN WELL BELIEVE IT. IN AMERICA WE GOT POTATOES THE SIZE OF ONE OF YOUR SOCCER BALLS"
"Aye" replied wee Angus "but here we grow these to fit our mouths".