A Jewish husband and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados, no more
summers in Tuscany , no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club.
But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on hisarm.
"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," says the wife
One of the richest Jewish men on the East Coast of the US had to go into the hospital for a week. So he booked himself into one of the best hospitals in the whole USA. Within a couple of days he moved to a small downtown Brooklyn hospital. One of the doctors in this hospital asked what was wrong with the first hospital.
"Was the medical care not good enough?"
"No - the medical care was the best available. I couldn't complain".
"Was the nursing care OK"
"Yes - the nursing care was brilliant. I couldn't complain"
"What about the food and the wards?"
"The food was cordon bleu, fantastic, and the hospital rooms were perfect. I couldn't complain".
"So why did you leave there for here" the doctor asked.
"Here, I can complain!"
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it, hump it or learn from it then piss on it and walk away.
"HOSPITALITY" - the art of making guests feel at home (when you wish they were).