An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument going."
An Englishman gives him a guitar which he plays better than Hendrix.
An Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better than Elton John.
Then a Scotsman throws him a set of bag pipes.
The Octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says "Whatís wrong can ye no play it?"
The Octopus replies "Play it? - Iím gonna f**k her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!!!