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Thread: Clean up your language

  1. #1

    Clean up your language

    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as


    You must now refer to them as


    And furthermore,


    1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a

    2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

    3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

    4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

    5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

    6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a


    1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

    2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

    3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

    4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

    5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

    6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

  2. #2
    Well thought out, PMSL

  3. #3
    Not just in the States.
    P.C. is serious business over here in UK,
    top people lose their jobs for a bad descriptive.
    We all know what a Hillbilly is

    "An unsophisticated country person, as associated originally with the remote regions of the Appalachians."
    but I dont use it in a derogatory way.

  4. #4
    I realise this is diverting the thread a bit, but last year I attended my brother's wedding in the Appalachians, and we invented a cocktail for the occasion, which will soon the ordered ostentatiously on all the hipster bars of Shoreditch, Brooklyn and Harper's Ferry. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Appalachi (e.g.: "Great creative pitch guys! Let's celebrate and go out for Appalaaaaaatchis!")!

    - Cheap vodka (for Appalachian Moonshine)
    - Jaegermeister for mountain meadows and coal
    - Blue Curacao, for methylated spirits tinted blue to stop accidental human consumption
    - A pinch of salt to remind us of tears.

    This is all layered over crushed ice, representing crushing poverty and mountain snow. Served in a Mason jar, and garnished with a wild flower and a sprig of stinging nettle. Here is a picture of the original prototype:

    Click image for larger version. 

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  5. #5
    I knew a lady well who was my old living pals partner in South Carolina and she came originally from Kentucky in "John Boy Waltons kind of countryside" anyway, the story goes - her uncle lived way up in the mountain area and he felt he should do his wife a favour so he bought on very high interest credit rates a washing machine for her.
    He was down one day at the general store and was crowing about how she was now a modern woman and the others in the store said "but Jake you aint got no piped water up at your place".
    Well he was kinda pis*ed about this because the machine would not work and so he threw it off the porch like you do up there and stopped paying off on the credit.
    The bailiffs turned up demanding the money and he said It aint no good I aint paying. But - said the bailiffs if you don"t pay we will burn down your homestead, he did not pay and they did do burn it down.
    He was finally shot dead at a bad card game a few years later.
    Kind of how you think a Hillbilly might be like?

  6. #6
    I heard that the Irish thought the first flush toilets were for washing feet.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by JTO View Post
    I heard that the Irish thought the first flush toilets were for washing feet.
    Not true. The Irish are cleverer than that, they found another use for the flushing toilet and kidded the English that that is what they thought it was for and the English believed them !!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by JTO View Post
    I heard that the Irish thought the first flush toilets were for washing feet.
    What an intriguing statement!

    I wonder how many Irish ever saw the first flush toilets, let alone made it known to a handy witness what they thought it was for. Or does the statement mean that every Irish person upon seeing a flush toilet for the first time is culturally disposed to assume it is for washing ones feet?

    I wonder what other nationalities en masse, have made of flushing toilets upon their first viewing.

    I love sweeping generalisations, they are so, so....sweeping!


  9. #9
    Q(I heard that the Irish thought the first flush toilets were for washing feet.)
    Not so true! you have been mis-informed as to what the inside loo is used for , I was told it was for drowning the English and the flush sound was to drown out the screams of joy
    Paul o'

  10. #10
    You would think that at least a few of them Irish would have thought it was a water bowl for the dogs, a bath for the "little people" or a basin with a big bore drain to cope with washing the mud off potatoes and other root crops...but for them all to think of nothing but cleaning feet strikes me as decidedly odd....what a phenomena.


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