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Thread: Lost my wife

  1. #1

    Lost my wife

    I lost my wife to quicksand.

    Took a while to sink in.
    I can resist everything, except temptation.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by JockStalk View Post
    I lost my wife to quicksand.

    Took a while to sink in.

    I lost my wife and the dog

    Reward for Dog


  3. #3
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    Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
    Elbert Hubbard

  4. #4
    Husband : - I've lost my wife. She went shopping yesterday in my truck and has not come home.

    Sergeant : - What is her height ?

    Husband: - Hmm. Maybe about five feet tall.

    Sergeant : - Build?

    Husband: - Not slim, not really fat.

    Sergeant : - Color of eyes?

    Husband : - Oh. Erm.

    Sergeant : - Color of hair?

    Husband : - Changeable, . .. . maybe red.

    Sergeant : - What was she wearing?

    Husband: - Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

    Sergeant : - Did she go in her car?

    Husband : - No, she went in my truck.

    Sergeant : - What kind of truck was it?

    Husband : - Brand new Ford Ranger with Eco-boost V6 diesel engine special ordered with flappy paddle semi-auto transmission. It has a custom matching cover for the bed and sealed load area. Special very slightly powder coated alloy wheels and Pirelli P-Zero Rosso Nero tyres. There's a small scratch the shape of a question mark on the drivers door but you have to look in the right light to, to, to.……

    At this point the husband started sobbing and tearing up.

    Sergeant: - Don't worry sir.......We’ll find your truck.
    I can resist everything, except temptation.

  5. #5
    Pity it wasn,t a lanny she wont have got far,

  6. #6
    Lanny was a little concerned when he sent out the offer of a free midweek stalk to a novice as he wasn't quite sure who would turn up

    He was pleased on the day to find a sutably atired polite local man in his 50s who responed well to instruction and apeared keen as musterd

    Having come down from the hill back to the landrover from the morning stalk, the man stoped and removed his hat and stood to attention as a hears and funeral procesion made its way slowly past on its way to the local cremitoriam.

    Lany was touched by this and said "its rare to see such kindness and respect being shown these days".

    To which the man responded

    "Well,,, I was married to her for 30 years "

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