The funniest read I've had in a while, nothing to do with stalking

'Might be interesting to have a scuttle with a couple of space aliens' .... PRICELESS
 
Is that what 35 year old women look like in Scotland? :eek:

Och Aye! I wouldn't touch that with a deep fried mars bar!
 
me thinks Gwen has seen some back door action behind Farmfoods more than once.

"how else would they know my name?"

because EVERYONE knows your name!
 
And the husband believes it! Or does he? I wonder what the paper paid for this story and for the woman in question to pose for the cameraman in her bra. More than I would have.
 
35??? She either had a tough paper round, or was ridden hard and put away wet!!! Known as a "double bagger", as you wear one in case hers falls off
 
So let's put this in to context,

"early monday drink with friends" = ****ed before 10am
temporarily lost her way = very ****ed before 10am
two aliens = new clients
space sex = everythings blurry when your that ****ed
space juice = white ice cider
sex ambassador = maybe she needs to meet Bill Clinton
 
So let's put this in to context,

"early monday drink with friends" = ****ed before 10am
temporarily lost her way = very ****ed before 10am
two aliens = new clients
space sex = everythings blurry when your that ****ed
space juice = white ice cider
sex ambassador = maybe she needs to meet Bill Clinton

You forgot to add - two alines = New clients - WEARING COWDENBEATH SHIRTS!:doh:
It's always amazing what you can get at Farm Foods!:rofl:
 
Is this actually from the Sunday Sport? I ask because it reads exactly like the tabloid parodies in Viz, and I read Viz, and this wasn't in it....
 
You forgot to add - two alines = New clients - WEARING COWDENBEATH SHIRTS!:doh:
It's always amazing what you can get at Farm Foods!:rofl:

And there was I thinking Cowdenbeath was some sort of Scottish Abercrombie or Lacoste rip off.
I was most disappointed when I found out it was a football team
 
35??? She either had a tough paper round, or was ridden hard and put away wet!!! Known as a "double bagger", as you wear one in case hers falls off

I'm reckoning a tripple bagger; one on yours, one on hers and one on the dogs head so it still looks you in the eye in the morning.
 
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