A big city lawyer went Deer stalking in rural Lancashire.
He shot and dropped a beast, but it ran on and fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence to retrieve it, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him
what he was doing.

The litigator responded, 'I shot a deer and its jumped the fence and fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
The old farmer Peter replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'
The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and, if you don't let me
get that deer, I'll sue you and take everything you own.'

The old farmer
smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Lancashire.

We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked,
'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'
The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the
dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three
times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone
gives up.'

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.

He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and
dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's
third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pad.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer
very slowly managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.'

(I love this

The old farmer
smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the
deer mate