Last night mine pinched my dinner off the kitchen worktop before I could cook it. Got me thinking about what the worst things she's ever done was and whether anyone has any similar war stories for our amusement.
My girl's worst event was when she went missing for a few hours one night. I wandered all over the village shouting for her, before spotting her in the pub car park. She must have been ignoring me, because she was in earshot the whole time. She looked suspiciously fat but she's a lab so I thought she was probably in the bins or something and frogmarched her home. Took her for a walk at the end of the night as usual and nothing happened.
Next morning...scene from a disaster movie. She had exploded with diarrhea in the night. An absolutely enormous quantity of ****ty oil was covering the flagstones of three rooms and the new limestone floor in the kitchen. It took about two hours of mopping a deep scrubbing the porous stone to clean it all up on hands and knees, trying not to retch the whole time.
When I got to the pub to see if I could spot what she'd been up to, there was a huge open vat of used chip oil out the back. She'd been sitting there for hours drinking her fill until she was the size of a baconer. I missed it in the dark, or I'd have left her in the garden overnight!