St. Peter had to run an errand one day. So he calls over to Jesus and asks him if he could watch the pearly gates while St. Peter ran his errand. Jesus said "yeah, I'm not busy at the moment. I guess I can. So what do I need to do?"
St. Peter said "it's easy. As people walk up, you ask them their name. If they are in the book, you let them in. If not, you uh....,send them away." Jesus said, "yeah I can handle this". So St. Peter splits. And Jesus stood there asking names of all that approached. "you're in, you're in, you're out, you're out, you're out (sigh) you're out...." And on it went.
Then this old guy came shuffling up. Jesus distractedly asked "name?" the old guy wheezed "uhhhh...., I don't remember". Jesus said "sonofab****, now what do I do?" So he asks the old guy "do you remember anything about your life? Do you remember what you did for a living?" The old guy paused and said "uhhh, I worked with wood and nails, uuuhhh, I was a carpenter." Jesus replied "not bad, I happen to come from a family of carpenters myself. So you remember anything about your family?" The old guy paused again, "well I had a son. I remember something about nails in his hands and feet."
Jesus started abruptly and asked "what do you mean???" The old guy harrumphed and said "don't hurry me, don't hurry me dammit!.
Let me think. Oh yeah, and there was some sort of miracle. He came to life". Jesus jumped up grabbing the old man he said "DAD....IS THAT YOU?"
The old guy looked back saying "uhhh......Pinocchio?"