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Thread: Funniest thing that happend to you with a gun in your hand

  1. #1

    Funniest thing that happend to you with a gun in your hand

    When I was just a young lad.
    I was at a pals farm when all of a sudden he came rushing towards me thrusting an over and under in my hand and started to shout about two foxes he had seen.
    It was Dusk with a little snow on the ground and a full moon
    He had me jump in his 4x4 and gave me two cartriges so it was obvious that i was going to be doing the shooting.
    In the exitment he mentioned that they were in the middle of having sex and were tied together, and that we were going to get around the back of them to stop them getting to a cover.
    I had spent many many hours pursuing foxes and was very experianced in killing them.
    That is to say experianced at killing them with Terriers and Various types of hounds.
    My farmer pal was most exited as it was just before christmas and he had already lost an number of fowl.
    I could now see the two foxes tied together as he drove like a rally driver straight over the field and straight at them.
    I thought he was going to run them over and that would be that and I would have no part to play.
    On the safety front I had opened my side window and loaded the gun, just to look the part.
    35 yards from them and still tied together he applied the handbrake.
    I was now on center stage and I was the man of the moment.
    I pulled the trigger and nothing happend the gun failed to go off.
    In very agricultural language he explained about the safety catch.
    You can tell by now I was not an exprianced shotgun shooter
    The only foxes i had shot were using a humane hand gun.
    I slipped off the safety and because I understood that shotguns had some spread, I aimed in the middle of them so as to kill both.
    Snow shot up into the air and limited our vision, as it settled I expected to see two dead foxes
    Unfortunatly I had shot under the foxes who had then become un-tied and disapeared.
    There was nothing left for me to shoot at with the second barrel
    It still makes me smile today at how exited my pal then became.
    Humans are pre wired with fight or flight response
    Great Grandad fought, Grandad fought.
    For the sake of my Grandchild I wish for Less Flight responses entering Europe

  2. #2
    Whilst out hunting foxes in a woods during the spring time, I came across a frolicking pair of would be naturists, bollocko,the look on there faces will stay with me forever lol
    she was alright aswell (do able )
    I swear I was not in a dogging area honest

  3. #3
    Over 25 years ago myself and a person by the name of Scotspine were walking across a farmyard, he was talking to me and when I didn't answer, turned to say something but he couldn't see me, he then looked down to see that silently I'd fallen very hard, flat on my back on a piece of ice, not a noise was made, he then started laugh, he carried on laughing for some time, meanwhile I was still laid on the floor freezing my Henry Halls off. It was lucky for me that I did land flat on the ground, had I landed on my butt or shoulders I would have suffered some damage. I laugh about it now though.

  4. #4
    It was January 3rd some 35 years ago and we'd had a very heavy Hogmanay at my mate's hotel in Kippford on the Solway as well as partying all around the village for virtually 48 hours non-stop.

    We gone out for an early goose but the birds were way too high in the windless weather so we had decided to try along the banks of the nearby River Urr although we were really not in a fit state. It was one of those lovely crisp sunny but very cold mornings and my host's lunatic Irish Setters were working along the river bank. Martin was patrolling the edge of the river in case a duck or two got up and the rest of us were walking slightly forward out into the field. A cock pheasant flushed almost at Martin's feet, he pulled both triggers by mistake, lost his footing and was propelled backwards into the very refreshing river to the prolonged merriment of the rest of us.

    It was some minutes before we could pull him out and to be fair it wasn't that funny then as we had to go back to the hotel to thaw him out in front of the fire and with yet more single malt.
    Last edited by paul k; 10-12-2010 at 16:06.

  5. #5
    With the keeper checking fox earths this February, Charlie bolted into a net with terrier close behind. Keeper was trying to keep terrier and live fox apart so grabs entangled fox by back legs and lifts it up. Fox not to happy with the way things are developing and latches onto the keepers foot, via his brand new, wait until the seasons over, neoprene lined premium wellies. Quite hilarious at the time, drops fox in hope it will unlatch, it does and spins out of the net and away with the terrier going mental but trailing someway behind. Results in one ruined welly, one infected foot and one extremely lucky fox.

  6. #6
    I was stalking down a forestry track between clearfells a few years back when a charlie popped out in front of me facing up the track and then had a sniff at the ground. The rifle was of the shoulder and up on my sticks just in time for me to see the fox squat down with it's tail pointed out like a poker to take a dump.

    At that point I began to chuckle a bit and missed it low and although it was a terrible shot I laughed all the way back to the car about it.

  7. #7
    Another cracking moment was during an end of season walk and stand "Cocks Only" day in the Chilterns on ground on which we had the stalking for muntjac. Roger the keeper was a great guy and a bit of a wit and was shouting down a steep hill berating the standing guns for their poor shooting at very high birds. One of his comments was that if someone didn't hit something soon he'd let us shoot hens just to get something in the bag. We were beating a long the top of a hill in some fairly open ground with scrub/bramble patches and he started to give us stick about not beating them out properly and to show how it was done he plunged into a bramble patch and started to thrash with his stick, there was a bit of a commotion and then he came out backwards riding briefly on the back of a muntjac buck. He sort of lost a bit of his authority after that!!

  8. #8
    Returning from stalking one morning i spotted a pair of tied foxes on apiece of ground i shoot, pulled off the road grabbed my rifle and headed towards the foxes, it was an easy stalk across a shallow gully,all the time i was thinking how to take the shot to best effect and if it was possible to shoot both with one shot, they where spinning around a fair bit so i decided to wait until they were in a straight line from me in the hope of getting both,as i fired the closest fox flopped to the ground and the other went 6ft in the air hand hit the ground running in opposite direction, as i followed it iin my scope i felt a strange presence,i looked up from my scope to see the farmer standing pale and shaking a few yards up the hedge.niether of us aware of the others presence, he was about to squeeze the trigger when my shoot roared sending the fox in the air.
    Must add it was a perfectly safe shot into an open field..

  9. #9
    I was going to school at the University of Kansas (but living in Missouri), and had quite a bit of time on my hands that I put to good use hunting. There was plenty of game in Missouri, and I spent most of the time after squirrels and white-tail deer. However, the one animal I really wanted was turkey. Try as I might, I had been unable to get one in two years of chasing them around. This year, I decided, it was going to be different. I would devote myself to getting a tom turkey.

    To start the quest, I went out and bought a shotgun appropriate for the task. Being a graduate student I didn't have a lot of 'liquid assets', but I scraped together enough to get a Harrington and Richardson Model 58 Trapper with 30", full choked, 12 gauge magnum barrel. (Whew! Say that ten times fast.) I bought a box of 3" magnum shells to go with it. Now all I needed to do was find a turkey. In Missouri, there were two turkey seasons - a spring season when only toms could be taken, and a fall season when both toms and hens could be taken. My first chance to use my new gun would be the spring tom season.

    I wandered the country-side scouting for signs (sounds) of birds, and finally found a big ol' tom's roost. His beard had to be a foot long. His roost was at the point of a finger of woods that extended into a huge cornfield. That finger extended into the cornfield starting at the edge where the county road ran. The wide end near the road was about 20 yards wide. It extended into the cornfield for about 100 yards, and ended in a sharp point. The tom was roosted in a big red oak out near the point. It was quite a vantage point for him. It was impossible to approach without being detected, and he had plenty of ways to escape once he detected trouble. I would have to get him to come to me. I got my huntin' buddy Larry, and we planned our pre-dawn assault for the next day.

    We arrived about 45 minutes before first light, and moved into the woods about half the way out the 'finger'. We were quiet as church mice, and just as the dawn was breaking, the tom gobbled. We about leaped out of our skins! We 'putt putted' back, and he let loose another full-throated gobble. We were practically vibrating in anticipation. It didn't quite go according to the 'battle plan' however. After almost two hours of 'back and forth', he finally quit calling back. We hung around for another half an hour, and walked out to the point just to make sure he wasn't there. We were certain he hadn't gotten by us, because where we set up, the finger was no more than 30 feet wide, and there were thousands of acres of bare cornfield that he couldn't have flown out over or walked out in without us seeing him. Nonetheless, when we got to the point, there was no bird. We were crestfallen. We simply couldn't believe he could have gotten around us. We turned 'round and headed back to my Jeep slump-shouldered and dragging our feet.

    In the woods were huge boulders scattered about, so we were walking single-file along the edge of the finger-of-woods just on the edge of the cornfield. Larry was in front of me, and just as we got within about 20 yards of the road, the tom burst from the woods in full flight about 15 yards in front of Larry. It was about 10 feet off the ground as it turned and flew 'broadside' right in front of us and not more than 15 yards off. The thing looked as big as a B-52. Larry was shooting some sort of semi-auto, and emptied it into the air somewhere around the turkey without disturbing a single feather. As the tom came into my shooting lane I shouldered the Topper.

    Maybe I should digress here for a moment and explain a little about the H&R Model 58 Topper for those that aren't familiar with it. It is a single-shot, external hammer, top-break shotgun. The lever for breaking the breech open is right beside the hammer, and you push it down similar to the way you cock the hammer. Shouldering the gun and cocking the hammer were one smooth action. I was a well-oiled machine. The whole thing was as if in slow motion. It was beautiful...

    Trouble was, it was the breech-break lever I thumbed like a well-oiled machine, not the hammer. Just as the butt hit my shoulder and I was ready to let fly, the action broke open and with the unmistakable "thooommph" of an ejecting shell, the 3" 12 gauge magnum flew gracefully right over my shoulder and onto the ground behind me. The tom flew off unscathed into the morning sun.

    There are very few times in my life I can remember laughing so hard. We were literally rolling on the ground laughing.

    I never did get a turkey with that shotgun, but the next fall, while out hunting squirrels with my bow (practice for deer season), I took a jake with my bow. But that's another story...

    Last edited by gitano; 11-12-2010 at 05:20.

  10. #10
    At the end of a shot day, one of the syndicate guns asked the keeper what his plans for the following year were, as straight faced as can be he replied "he was going to try crossing turkeys and kestrels" to which the gun replied "why" everyone fell about when the keeper replied so we can have a bloody big bird that hover's, then one of you bars**** might hit something.

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