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Thread: English is a crazy language.

  1. #1

    English is a crazy language.

    There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.

    English muffins were not invented in England Nor French fries in France.
    Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which arenít sweet, are meat.

    We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
    And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of "tooth" is "teeth", why isn't the plural of "booth", "beeth"?
    One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
    Is cheese the plural of choose?
    One mouse, 2 mice.
    One house, 2 hice?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
    Ship by truck or car, and send cargo by ship?
    Have noses that run and feet that smell?
    Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
    while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
    How can the weather be hot as hell one day,
    and cold as hell on another day?

    When a house burns up, it burns down.
    You fill in a form by filling it out.
    An alarm clock goes off by going on.

    You get in and out of a car,
    yet you get on and off a bus.

    When the stars are out, they are visible.
    But when the lights are out, they are invisible.
    And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it
    But when I wind up this note, I end it?

    English is a crazy language. It doesn't know if it is coming or going!!!

  2. #2
    I'd like to know who named the grapefruit...

  3. #3
    Who jumps up and down, you may jump up but you come down with no effort at all.

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