A teacher asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes. Little Johnny stood up and yelled:
"PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD AND MOVE AWAY FROM THE F**KING CAR!!"
I don't think they have many farms in Liverpool.
Little Johnny gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole.
He watches for a moment, and then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb”!!
Little Jonny says to his Mum, is it Ok to have a Willy
Yes said his mum why do you ask.
Cos my dads upstairs sweating like mad trying to pull his Off !!
The teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. "Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?" Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion." Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am, you’re thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables."