There I was, sitting by myself at the bar, staring at my untouched drink. Suddenly, a 6' 8" tattooed biker stepped up next to me and grabbed my drink. He grinned at me and gulped it all down in one gulp.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he said, as I burst into tears. "Aw, come on, man," the biker said, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I just needed to kick someone's ass, not watch a grown man cry."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you, you overgrown horse's ass, you show up and drink the whole thing!
But enough about me, how's your day going?"