I have a commodity trader friend in Hamburg to who I wrote the following yesterday (29 Sept) and I thought it was worthy of repeating.


Dear Adolf,

Thank you very much for helping us - your poor, non-tax paying Eu cousins - to stay in your wonderful club. We have not been members for very long but so often you shower us with gifts and our gratitude is very huge.

This current instalment should last well into 2012 (well, February at least) so please round up all your friends again for our next requirement.

So kind.

Kindest regards

Gio Popadopalous (age 47, retired civil servant)


To which he replied


Dearest Gio,

I am so sorry, but you do not understand.

I know you cheated right from the beginning when you produced your balance sheets. But you used the help our my dearest friend Morgan Stanley who is a brother of my other friend Josef Ackermann. Together they arranged the credits for you personally.
My heart was bleeding when you failed to pay pack these credits but as your said : " the poverty of my countrymen makes me sick". I knew it was not your fault. Your really tried to make them pay. But you have to understand my friends Morgan and Josef. They have to live as well. This is the reason why I could not give you the Credit direct.

I know that it is a shame that they are receiving the money from the ECB for 1% and giving it to you for 18%. But these are the 5% (their maths) that they live on. I have asked them to continue to give you credits.

My close friend Angela (May the Lord smite her down) has now signed a guarantee in our name for are further € 211 Billion. Morgan and Josef have already mentioned that this amount does unfortunately not include their interest. Angela (May the Lord smite her down) should rather calculate with € 400 Billion. But this does not include their outlets in Spain, Portugal, Ireland and Italy. For these countries, Angela (May the Lord smite her down) should work with 1,5 Trillion.

So Gio, do not worry. At least Angela (May the Lord smite her down) is behind you. She has arranged that at least 90% of the German Nation will guarantee for your pension. The other 10% who own 80% of Germany have refused to help, but we do not need them really.

Your very close Friend

Adolf (Sorry about Crete)