Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it.
Women socialize by complementing each other, but they don't mean it either.

My new girlfriend has just burst in the bedroom,
so I'm taking her back to Ann Summers, to get my money back.??

If vegetarians want to save animals why do they compete with them for food?

If you have a bag of Jelly Babies, how do you tell which ones are illegitimate?
Turn the bag upside down and all the little b**tards fall out!

While creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
And then He made the earth round!

If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road'
Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.

I don't know what all this fuss is about kids nowadays wearing abstinence rings.
Tomorrow I'll have been wearing a gold one for 20 years.
That reminds me, I need to buy my wife an anniversary present. !!