8 oz brown sugar
4 oz suet
10 oz dried fruit
8 oz plain flour
1 tsp mixed spice
1 bottle of rum.
Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl, except for the spice.
Carefully measure 4 fl oz rum into a cup.
Drink the rum.
Add 2 beaten eggs and drink 4 fl oz more rum.
Bleat 3 more pegs with the mixerer, add to the bowl thingy and stir.
Drinkle some more rummy, spice up the mixture and add it to the oven.
Shout at the cat, drinkle some more rummy, beatle the mixerers and oven the eggshells
Finish the rum.
Throw the cat out the kitchen door, throw the bowl in the oven and collapse on the couch.