Wee Billy from Glasgow always wanted to look cool.
His friend told him that he needed a good designer pair of trainers to go with his shell suit.
Billy saved up all his Giros and all the money he got back from returning his empty bottles of Ginger and finally managed to get himself a pair of brilliant white trainers to go with his shell suit.
Proudly, he strutted down the street calling out to all the passers by "See ma new trainers? Stonkin, eh?"
One fine upstanding gentleman pointed out that they were indeed a fine pair of trainers but was young Billy aware that he had a lace undone?
Billy scornfully retorted that it was part of being cool to have a trailing lace and that on the sole of the trainer there were instructions for the wearer to do such a thing.
When asked for proof of this instruction, Billy look off his trainer and held it upside down for the disbeliever to read.
"There y'are! It clearly says ....