A bulldog was taking his son on his rounds with him to show him the ropes. He told him, "Son, I want you to follow me all day and watch what I do. Pay attention and you'll grow up to be a good bulldog like your old' man."
So the old man started out of the garden but stopped to piss on the rose bushes first. Then he went to the neighbours garden and pissed on the petunias.
He found the neighbours kid's football boot and went to chewing on it.
Directly a female dog in heat passed by and the old' man ran over to her and serviced her.
Then he pissed on a tree, went on down the street and pissed on a lamp post, a post box, a car tyre, another tree. He came across a large bone and started gnawing on it.
Soon here came another female dog in heat and the old' man went and serviced her too. Then he headed back home, pissing on every thing he passed on the way.
When they got home the old' man asked the kid what he had learned.
He said, "Well Dad, I can understand chewing on the football boot and the bone and I can understand screwing the females but why did you piss on everything in between?"
He said, "Son, the first rule in being a bulldog is 'If you can't chew it or screw it, piss on it!'"