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Thread: Tescos

  1. #1


    One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
    > "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
    > Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.
    > There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
    > the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
    > It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and
    > better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points".
    > So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
    > He
    > deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
    > sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
    > Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
    > "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
    > activity. It will improve in two weeks".
    > That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
    > began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
    > He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
    > his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for
    > measure.
    > Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
    > He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
    > with a grin .
    > The computer prints the following:
    > 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
    > 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    > 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    > 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    > 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
    > get better....
    > Thank you for shopping at Tesco

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