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Thread: not mine, but funny nevertheless!

  1. #1

    not mine, but funny nevertheless!

    written in to a website:

    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign on our road.
    The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

  2. #2
    I have regular clients for Roe so I can prepare their trophies after they leave and they collect on their next visit
    Clients had just arrived and were sitting outside their B&B presented them with their trophies from previous visit
    each with a label with the clients name attached, I attach label with name as soon as shot as with the number of clients and Bucks involved its the only way I can remember what belongs to whom.
    Was approached by a neighbour of the B&B whom I had spoken to on previous occasions, on seeing the labels she said I knew that you spent a lot of time here with the deer, but I did not realise that you knew them all by name.

  3. #3
    Very good
    Not sure if this a bit of 'urbal legend", but probably someone will have tried it!

    (in reply to first post)

  4. #4
    Just remember that these "people" are not only encouraged to breed but vote as well.............................................. ..........

    Tis no wonder we are in a bloody mess.

  5. #5
    I was stalking through a local wood and, knowing that I had to cross a bridleway, I unloaded the rifle and slung it across my back.

    On appearing out of the woods a dog walker said to me "you ought to be careful with that. You might kill something".

    A potential future Detective, I think?
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it, hump it or learn from it then piss on it and walk away.

    "HOSPITALITY" - the art of making guests feel at home (when you wish they were).

  6. #6
    Reminds me of a no doubt shaggy dog story. Bloke wrote into the papers about the low levels of water in the reservoirs asking why the Water Companies didn't fill them from the mains !

    Be afraid - very afraid

  7. #7
    Darwin would not be pleased....

  8. #8
    on my return from a ferreting trip i was unloading my van one of the neighbours asked what i had been up to i said been ferreting today

    he said oh thats nice but i didnt realise ther were ferrets about like that hoe many did you catch

  9. #9
    Col Lord Cottesloe in his book "The Englishman and the Rifle" reports that he was involved with the war effort and they had many people who wrote to the government with "good ideas." Many of these ideas were investigated though most were just plain nuts. One he reports was that it was suggested they would do much better if they located anti-aircraft guns on clouds! It looks like being stupid isn't just a modern development.

  10. #10
    I brought a small flat as an investment. I rent it out through the local council. As such, it has to be inspected periodically for safety. I fitted two, brand new smoke detectors, but was told I had to replace them with ten year, long life, tamper proof items.

    The explanation was that tenants might remove the nine volt battery and use it in the TV remote, rendering the smoke alarm useless. I pointed out, that this was simply Darwin working to eradicate the stupid. Not what the council official wanted to hear apparently.

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