Mick from Texas decided to take a bear hunting trip to the Rockies. He got himself organised and packed his .270 and plenty of ammo and set off on his holiday.
The first morning he woke at first light, put his Rifle over his shoulder and left the log cabin. The morning was beautiful and Mick had only been walking for 5 minutes when, down by the River, he spotted a big bugger of a bear. There was a conveniently placed rock for a rest and he put the crosshairs on the bears chest. Thwack!!!! The bear dropped on the spot.
He congratutaled himself and wandered down to where the bear had fallen. Nothing, no bear anywhere. He was just looking for a blood trail when he had a tap on the shoulder. He turned round to see the biggest bear he had ever clapped his eyes on. It must have been 7ft tall.
"You missed!" said the bear in a very camp voice. "Now, I have 2 options. I could rip you from a-hole to breakfast time with one claw or, as I find you strangely attractive, you could bend over that rock and I will give you a good seeing to!"
"Don't think I have a lot of option." Said Mick."I will take the rogering."
Anyway, 10 minutes later Mick staggered back up the hill to the cabin and went to bed for the rest of the day.
The next morning Mick got up more determined than ever. He walked to the same spot and there, sure enough, was the bear. He rested on the rock and Thwack! Thwack! Two shots to make sure and the bear dropped on the spot. Mick then ran down to the river bank cheering. But, no bear!
Suddenly he gets a tap on the shoulder.
"You missed!" said the bear. "Now, I have two options..."
"Yeah Yeah.., I know!" Said Mick as he pulled his trousers down and bent over the rock.
10 minutes later Mick staggered back up to the hut but instead of getting into bed, he found his wallet and then staggered to the town. He went into the gun shop and bought himself a 0.50 cal. "I will have that ******* bear" he said as he left.
Anyway, the next morning Mick got up and went straight to the River. Sure enough there was this big ******* bear. He rested the 50 cal on the rock and boom! When Mick picked himself up he could clearly see the bear lying dead next to the river. He went down there and cheered as he prodded the bear with a stick. The bear rolled over, smiled and said, "You missed!"
Then the bear thought for a second or two and said, "before I give you your options, you have got to tell me something."
"What?" said Mick as he bent over the rock.
"You are not really here for the hunting, are you?"