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Thread: The Seat

  1. #1

    The Seat

    My wife, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take
    care of another matter before she returned.
    She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
    About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
    We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.
    She wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital.
    The Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).
    Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
    The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them......
    I just never saw one mounted and framed."

  2. #2
    The Tale of Sonia Snell, by Cyril Fletcher

    This is the tale of Sonia Snell,
    To whom an accident befell.
    An accident which may well seem
    Embarrassing in the extreme.
    It happened, as it does to many,
    That Sonia had to spend a penny.
    She entered in with modest grace
    The properly appointed place
    Provided at the railway station,
    And there she sat in meditation,
    Unfortunately unacquainted
    The woodwork had been newly painted
    Which made poor Sonia realise
    Her inability to rise.
    And though she struggled, pulled and yelled
    She found that she was firmly held.
    She raised her voice in mournful shout
    "Please someone come and help me out."
    Her cries for help then quickly brought
    A crowd of every kind and sort.
    They stood around and feebly sniggered
    And all they said was "I'll be jiggered."
    "Gor blimey" said the ancient porter
    "We ought to soak her off with water."
    The Station Master and the staff
    Were most perverse and did not laugh
    But lugged at Sonia's hands and feet
    And could not get her off the seat.
    The carpenter arrived at last
    And, finding Sonia still stuck fast
    Remarked "I know what I can do',
    And neatly sawed the seat right through.
    Sonia arose, only to find
    A wooden halo on behind.
    An ambulance came down the street
    And bore her off, complete with seat
    To take the wooden bustled gal
    Off quickly to the hospital.
    They hurried Sonia off inside
    After a short but painful ride
    And seizing her by heels and head
    Laid her face down on the bed.
    The doctors all came on parade
    To render her immediate aid.
    A surgeon said "Upon my word
    Could anything be more absurd,
    Have any of you, I implore,
    Seen anything like this before?"
    "Yes" said a student, unashamed,
    "Frequently... but never framed."

  3. #3
    Reminds me of an all time classic:

    Below is a link to my website.
    Quad sticks

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