Wife says to her husband, "I had the strangest dream last night. It was Christmas, and our tree was decorated with all kinds of penises. White ones, black ones, circumcised and uncircumcised, big and small. And on the top of the tree was the *perfect* penis."

Husband says, "I bet that one was mine."

She says, "Sorry, honey, it wasn't."

He says, "You know, it's weird, but I had almost the same dream. A Christmas tree decorated with pussies... shaven and unshaven, thin and thick lips, scented and unscented... and the one on the top was the *perfect* pussy."

She says, "I suppose that one on the top was mine?"

He says, "Nope. Yours was holding up the tree!"