Wanted: 10,000+ Acres of free deer shooting please, all 6 species is a must. No trophy or cull fees either. Goat and Wild boar also essential.
Mixure of woodland, meadows, and mountains essential.
There should be regularly spaced enclosed (and heated in winter) shooting platforms complete with either mini-bar or beer-wench and actual bar.
Entire perimeter must be patrolled by volunteer ex SAS mercenary's to ensure no poachers, mountain bikers, or dog walkers.
In the even of rain there should be a hover-shelter (with stealth mode) to silently follow me around when I go for a stalk.
At night a team of forresters will arrive to maintain the woodland and meadows.
Bikini-clad supermodels should greet me at the end of every shoot to gralloch and process my kills.
All of the above should be 10 minutes or less from my house in Chichester, though may consider it if a little further (15 minutes).
There may be a fiver in it for anyone who can provide the above.