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Thread: What the strangest thing that's happened to your other half?

  1. #1
    SD Regular teyhan1's Avatar
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    Berkshire then Dorset now Herefordshire with a good dose of Dorset
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    What the strangest thing that's happened to your other half?

    The recent thread about free ferrets got me thinking. Wives sometimes get some weird situations to deal with, with us funny folk and our country pursuits.

    Here's a tale and there are more, but's what's yours

    I would love to have ferrets again.
    Gave up quite a few years ago now, sold all the locators and boxes. Because my wife said she didn't want them around any more.

    3am all is quiet in the house. The Jack Russel is asleep at the foot of the bed, I am asleep as is the missus.
    SUDDENLY I wake up and the missus is screaming, the Jack Russel is going ballistic trying to save the missus as she has a ferret latched in firmly to the end of her nose.
    She trying to pry its jaws apart, I trying to stop the dog from biting the ferret and shouting at her to get her head on the pillow as a dangling ferret will never let go.
    I get rid of the dog out of the room and come back to find that she is just about to pry ( with her fingers )its jaws open and indeed does manage but then it promptly latches into her hand (at full tilt).
    I get her hand on the bed and poke the thing in the eye and it lets go.
    Honestly at 3am in the morning it had broken out of it cage in the garden, in through the cat flap, up a flight of stairs and could have then turned left and found a litter of kittens or right and found us. It looked like someone had taken a meat cleaver to her there was blood everywhere.

    She maintains to this day that I had taught the ferret to go through the cat flap.
    I'd love to have ferrets again
    “Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”........Dalai Lama

  2. #2
    Wish I could train ferret's that good

  3. #3
    just passed the laptop to the wife, she is laughing,

  4. #4
    Mine married a lovely chap and lived happily ever after.
    But your story was funnier
    I can speak in-depth and with great knowledge about most subjects until some bugger who actually knows what he is speaking about opens his gob .

  5. #5
    Suppose the strangest thing that happened to her (at the time) was the first time she came home to find a set of antlers sticking up from the pasta pan on the hob. 'What the hell is that!' Or the time I said we were having pheasant for dinner and took the birds in from the shed and breasted them in front of her. Funny what we call commonplace is just mental to other less educated folk.

    Best one was when I made a pigeon curry just after we moved into our new house. It was that year a few years back when there was snow lying for about 3 - 4 months and the only food sitting above this was kale. Anyway had shot a couple of dozen birds on this kale with my brother a few weeks previously and hadn't got round to breasting them yet. Was still freezing outside so thought that would be fine as they were in the shed. Cleaned a couple of them for dinner that night and cooked them up. All was well and it looked great. So, I served it up.

    As we tucked in and had that first mouthful I thought 'this does taste a bit stronger than usual' but nothing like the high gamey taste I've had before. Think it took her about 7 or 8 mouthfuls of pigeon before she turned to me and said 'I don't think this tastes right'. 'Nah it's fine' I says so she has a couple more mouthfuls. 'No Chris this isn't right' she says with a turned up face. 'Can't be that bad' surely says I. 'What does it taste like?' She looks at me and says 'LIKE SH*T!!' 'Here, smell my breath'. So as I lean over for her to lovingly breath on my nose I instantly get that unmistakable smell of what can only be described as something your dog lets out as it relaxes too much beside you as you're cuddled up on the sofa. Couldn't kiss her for bit after that.

    Think she must have had one of the breasts that had some of the kale shot up through it and had been 'marinading' in it for the best part of 3 weeks.

    ​She still won't eat pigeon.

  6. #6
    barf. heave. and just before dinner as well
    I can speak in-depth and with great knowledge about most subjects until some bugger who actually knows what he is speaking about opens his gob .

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