Child assault allegations & FAC

CWMMAN3738

Well-Known Member
Right before anyone gets OTT this is very complicated, mu son is Autistic 14years old with various other problems but high intellect in certain areas as is typical with autistic kids. However one of his traits is that of violent outbursts where he needs to be subdued & restrained (he's almost 6' & 14st) he's on his 3rd secondary school due to violent outbursts which are getting worse as he gets older, recently say the last 12 mts he's been causing those who control him problems by acussing them of hitting him & claiming abuse as in his world this gives him back control he has acused his teachers, (some of who are licensed to restrain kids) who struggle with him, his mom, her new husband, & myself.,
The last 2 incidents with me have been about 6mts apart & have involved me restraining him last time he hit out at an old female friend in a leisure centre, this time me in a public park, both times he went to the floor & had to be forced up & restrained untill in a safe enviroment & calmed down, this time walked back to the house in an armlock & sat down for about an hour untill he calmed down & could be spoken to, he went to school & 2days later told them I'd hit him, they notified child protection & the usual process of interview with him & medical followed by a visit to me today by the police after several conversations with incompetent social workers, the officer was quite sensible but the conversation was professional & as this is going to be a recurring problem, DOSE ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE OR EXPERIENCE OF THIS SORT OF SITUATION,
SUGGESTION WAS MADE FOR ME TO STOP HAVING CONTACT WITH MY SON, NO was the answer
Dose anyone have any answers as I feel it's only a matter of time given new HO guidance on domestic violence & firearms before I get a knock on the door for my guns?
 
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Friends of mine adopted a lad who sounds similar to yours, I know they got a lot of help from an organisation called 'autism outreach'.

Good luck.
 
My missus teaches special needs and she's been on a restraint course, not that it would be be very effective on a 6ft 14stone lad though... but one of the key points on the course is that if you are in a situation where someone may need to be restrained then you should always have a colleague with you.

I'm not sure whether in your case it would be construed as assault given the circumstance.
 
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Get as much documentation on the condition as you can, also log all incidents in a diary and ask your wife and new partner to do the same, if the Police are involved ask for the incident number. I'm sure the school will have a record of their experience, perhaps as a parent you can ask to be notified when it occurs at school. Record keeping is the key with this. I have no personal experience of this but my wife works in the care industry, bottom line- if it's not written down it didn't happen.
 
I am sorry I have no advice for you but my heart goes out to you maybe one thing would be to lodge your firearms with an rfd till common sence prevails this way you are shown to be responcible, good luck I hope you get some support from somewhere, wayne
 
If the social services are involved I would say all the relevant information they have would clear you. I am a father and feel sorry for your situation
 
Cwmman, I cant begin to understand how this situation would make you feel, so sorry fella.

If it was me, I would speak to BASC, explain the situation and ask for their advice on the legal side of things.

Good luck.
 
Hi,
my wife works in a home for adults with autism and other learning difficulties. It's a dangerous job but she is good at it due to her previous counselling training she has a knack of calming the service users down. I think for every person in there their parents have had a the hard decision to let go as letting go can be less painful than the constant guilt of fighting with someone who you clearly love.

Hope it all goes OK for you.

Ian
 
Pal of mine has a very wayward son fights drugs etc: to the point he Near lost all his kit just due to the lad being at home! he had to find away to keep certs and give ZERO access to the storage of any firearms of kit .So what he done was this as he had a old brick shed the old type with the concrete roof on it , we replaced the door with a solid steel one and bar's in the windows fitted a red line to the house alarm and had this inspected by Essex police, this was passed as a gun room and he safes were moved and fixed as per requested by the flo . His boy could visit the mum and have no way of obtaining access to dads toys. So the upshot was he made a coal house building into a club house just like some gun clubs have remote storage of guns with an Police red call alarm fitted.
hope this helps
 
Dustin,

I've spent 20 years working with people with varying degrees of autistic spectrum disorder and my wife manages a large organisation that supports people with complex learning disabilities, both in residential care and living independently with support, plus our oldest son has Asperger's, so I have some experience of your situation. Supporting young autistic adults is really tough, particularly young men who are adult in size and strength, teenage in their outbursts and tantrums and like toddlers in their emotional intelligence.

My best suggestion is to make contact with Autism West Midlands - they already do some work in Wales - and seek some support regarding appropriate control and restraint practice of young adults. Make the school aware that you have done this and that you are fully aware of best practice in controlling / minimising your son's outbursts using the minimum amount of physical intervention to protect him and others - they are legally bound to report any accusation he makes but are usually very good at understanding the context. It may also be worth seeking out the relevant family liaison officer in your local police force - they usually have one who regularly liaises with Children's Services - and making sure they are aware of your situation. That way, when another situation occurs, you can refer the investigating officer to the liaison officer for a rounder view of the situation.

It looks like you are doing everything right so far in difficult circumstances but showing you have sought training to minimise the outbursts and effects tells the police that you are a concerned parent do his best, rather than anything more sinister.

My wife can probably recommend other organisations that may be able to help too - drop me a PM if you want any help.

R'gds,

Adam.
 
Pal of mine has a very wayward son fights drugs etc: to the point he Near lost all his kit just due to the lad being at home! he had to find away to keep certs and give ZERO access to the storage of any firearms of kit .So what he done was this as he had a old brick shed the old type with the concrete roof on it , we replaced the door with a solid steel one and bar's in the windows fitted a red line to the house alarm and had this inspected by Essex police, this was passed as a gun room and he safes were moved and fixed as per requested by the flo . His boy could visit the mum and have no way of obtaining access to dads toys. So the upshot was he made a coal house building into a club house just like some gun clubs have remote storage of guns with an Police red call alarm fitted.
hope this helps


sounds more like the son needs a good kick in the A** than anything! LOL
 
I am sorry I have no advice for you but my heart goes out to you maybe one thing would be to lodge your firearms with an rfd till common sence prevails this way you are shown to be responcible, good luck I hope you get some support from somewhere, wayne

+1 pal
 
Both me & the wife have done parenting courses & I am fully trained in restraint, & physical intervention, despite this I'm still worried by the situation, there is not any question of his access to my firearms or shotguns or ammo he has no interest in shooting, he prefers the virtual old of a screen, however I keep details of incidents as dose his mum & the school keep me informed however social services are of less than no help, they deep closing his file as they say there's nothing they can do for us, & the police have a duty to examine each case & go through the motions I'm just dreading the day the wrong copper gets the referral & goes off half cocked & gung hoe which seems all too common in our force I've been lucky so far with sensible ones
 
One of my sons has Aspergers on the autistic spectrum so I feel for you chap fortunately he has got better as he's got older but I have to admit he has tested all our patience over the years and has bent the truth too .the truth will prevail try not to worry mate .
regards
norma
 
I hope Norma is right but just as a safeguard I would be making sure I had legal advice. BASC being the obvious better known source.
 
Surely if this is a recurring issue and your son and more importantly you are known to both the authorities and the Social Services then there must be a duty of care to you as well as your son? They can't just be coming down on you every time there is an incident

My wife works with special needs and many of them are violent and detained in a secure environment but still very lucid and intelligent.
Assault claims are common in this environment (as actually they are in many care environments) and whilst they need to be investigated to avoid abuse of power there has to be some level of interpretation of events otherwise everyone in a care environment would be up on charges!

I personally would be approaching this from the other side getting as much documented evidence of your sons condition and more importantly the need for sporadic physical restraint from both the doctor and the social services.

I also see no reason to start lodging firearms with RFD's any more than I do taking all the knives out the kitchen and giving your car keys to the neighbour! unrelated and the more we do this as "a precaution" the more it becomes the norm and is expected!

good luck, can't imagine what you are going through
 
I suggest you arange a meeting with your firearms registry manager and explain
your problem this should help
but each case will logged and acted on
cheers lister
 
sounds more like the son needs a good kick in the A** than anything! LOL

This thread is of a very sensitive nature and comments like yours PKL are unwanted. You obviously do not understand some youngster's/people have difficult problems that are sometimes a long time to become under control sometimes by the medical proffession or by organisations that have been sugested.

Jimbo
 
My heart goes out to you mate it really does I can't imagine how difficult things are for you , as stated how's your relationship with your firearms manager ? If it's good and they are a sensible sort maybe an appointment so you can have a chat and let them know the score ? I hope things improve for you mate
atb Jim
 
I suggest you arange a meeting with your firearms registry manager and explain
your problem this should help
but each case will logged and acted on
cheers lister

Sounds an awful situation, but I think this above point important. Also get the statements made by other professionals who have had to do so after allegations, you should have access to them upon request as it's about your son. This will prove to the firearms team it's something your son does, without malice, and may help you long term.

I wish you all the best and have learned, from experience of allegations by pupils that they rarely turn out as bad as you may fear.
 
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