Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to
travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a
venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from
landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would
request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds
watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and
orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions
at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd
observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain
that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA,
UVB and Glory.

Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is
permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and
how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased
risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear FFP2 dust masks to prevent inhalation
of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and
would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may
be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations
as 'cash for gold' etc., gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential
risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation
to a worthy cause in the recipientís name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations
and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and
advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the
camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Dust masks for the three
kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.

Richard Golze M.I.I.R.S.M. (Member of the International Institute of Risk and Safety Management)
Health & Safety Practitioner