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Thread: Diary of a venison smuggler

  1. #1

    Diary of a venison smuggler

    I find myself in the fortunate position of having lots or roe and red in the freezer but the unfortunate position of having a wife and 3 children who don't (knowingly) like venison.

    cue the "venison smuggling"
    I have been quietly smuggling venison into everyone's diet completely unaware only occasionally giving the kids a "what was that then" after 3 clean plates appear.

    1) Roe stirfry
    loin sliced thin, marinated in a secret blend of "whatever I can reach in the cupboard", usually revolves around a soy, ketchup, mild chilli, brown sauce, yellow mustard blend unless I am feeling swish and find a proper stir fry blend
    lots of veg and noodles, garlic ginger, wok to death
    Venison Detection Factor: Very Low

    2) Chilli con Roe-ne
    make chilli as per beef....just use minced roe (I use all the roe, intercostals, neck, shoulder, flank, etc etc)
    have experimented with fine and medium mincing and prefer the consistency of the medium
    onions, tom paste, tinned toms, peppers, lots of beans, garlic
    chilli powder/chopped chillis to taste
    Venison Detection factor: Extremely Low

    3) Spaghetti Roe-lognese
    as above with Itallian herbs instead of chilli and beans
    add some finely chopped carrots
    secret here is a good simmering to boil it right down
    Venison Detection Factor: Low to Medium

    4) Roe Lasagne
    Sauce from above Roe-lognese with pasta sheets and cheesy bechamel sauce layered with more cheese on the top
    Venison Detection Factor: Low

    5) Red Stew
    Use hind venison
    chunks about 1/2-3/4"
    flour chunks and fry with vegetables of choice, carrots, onions, potatoes etc
    one beef stock cube
    and here is the smuggler's secret: one small tin of campbell's condensed cream of tomato soup
    simmer until brown (instead of soup red!)
    Venison Detection Factor: Low

  2. #2
    Regular Poster Neumo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Surrey/West Sussex borders
    Nice. I have done similar work with Rabbits before now. It is surprising how some 'foodies' can be hoodwinked if you do it right. Keep up the good work.

  3. #3
    Haha absolute genius, very entertaining read!


  4. #4
    Enjoyed reading that Bewsher500,

    Great stuff, thank you.

  5. #5
    I do a good line in tandoori rabbit and pheasant strips as nibbles
    "that chicken is lovely!".......

  6. #6
    Brilliant, thanks Bewsher. I've won the family round with Venison Cottage Pie and have been looking for some new recipes, will give those a try.

  7. #7
    6) Roe-Gone Josh!
    switch chicken, lamb, beef for some nice venison shank or shoulder or half haunch

  8. #8
    SWMBO won't eat rabbit. I once asked her Dad, who was an old Norfolk smallholder, why she'd never eaten rabbit as a child. His reply was "She always used to, but may not have known it!"
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not using it in a fruit salad.

    Amateurs practice until they get it right. Professionals practice until they never get it wrong.

  9. #9
    Good read my daughter is beginning to show signs of negativity to trying meat I bring home. Asked me the other day not to shoot rabbits anymore as its mean and they are cute and fluffy! She is 5 years old so its to be expected. Beginning to think about what it is she is eating so I may have to apply some of the above cloaking techniques to ensure she continues to eat healthy food. Thankyou for the insight

  10. #10
    I have several times fed people roe steaks (leg or loin), entirely unadorned and grilled like a beef steak.

    Even then, ardent game refuseniks have commented on what lovely beef it was and asked which butcher.

    At the other end of the spectrum, a friend's 4 year old daughter flat out refuses to eat any mince unless her dad promises it came ffrom us!

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