I wish I could think as well as this!!

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared

it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or

some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So

we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the

rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume

that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls

are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at

the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these

religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you

will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do

not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls

go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the

number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at

the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states

that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay

constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls

in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman

year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"

and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then

number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic

and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is

extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a

divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting

"Oh my God."