Yet another true one.
FEO. Can you show me where you keep your guns?
Shooter. NO!
FEO. Why not, I have to see they are in a safe place.
Shooter. Well I'm not telling you, that would compromise my security.
FEO. But I'm a retired Police Officer, You have to trust me.
Shooter. Not bloody likely, you've been hanging around Police stations full of criminals all you working life. I do my best to stay well away from those types of people!
This guy went as far as losing his renewal on the basis of this argument, pedantic old sod.