View Full Version : The SDs great scottish manhunt "Walkabout" Fun

05-11-2009, 01:43
Well it all started off on the wednesday early afternoon just as i had shot my "Drive by Sika" ;) Malcolm sped past in his Loooove machine just as i started the gralloch. Myself and andy looked at each other and thought nothing more of it :???: Anyway sika back at the larder we set off back to the cottage :!: Then it all started :eek:
Panic panic, It turned out we had lost a member of the party whilst malcolm was showing them the ground. He decided he would go for "Walkabout" In an area he didnt know ;)
A search party was organised to locate "walkabout" either living or dead :shock: It was like a murder mystery weekend i'll tell ya :-D
I decided i should take photographic evidence of what was happening ready to send into the BBC for a top documentary :twisted:
Jingzy started of by shouting lets find him :roll: We all looked at each other and thought "What the hell did he say" :???: Can we have that in the queens english please :-D
Our comnications expert Frantically looked up the number for mountain search & rescue and strung together a "Brace" of radios to keep contact between the search party and the cottage where the nearest phone was. Top Idea ;)
Well it all got a bit too much for poor old JAYB so he hit the Booze and said he would stop at the cottage with the other radio from the "Brace" and keep everyone up to date (while sipping from his tinny) ;)
This was the last picture taken of "Rob-Mike-Walkabout" we had so everyone took a look so we knew what we were looking for :???:
Tika308 Laughed as he played with his tazer gun and said were wasting our time hes Probably dead and the wolves from the next estate will eat him :shock: The sick F***er i thought :twisted: Why Didnt i think of that 1 :roll:
Anyway we Got Todd dressed up for the hunt, He didnt seem too pleased at the thought of having to wear a silly hat and a guide dog harness just to look for "Walkabout" when he could be chasing Deer about or sleeping. Or even helping JAYB sup his tinny :-D Think the look on his face said F**k him i wanna stay home :lol:
Anyway we spent hours looking for "Walkabout" and he finally turned up at the cottage after being kidnapped by some locals who drove him half way around scotland :roll:
Poor old JAYB was slaughtered after looking after a case of Bitter for us hard walked search party members when we got back :-D

05-11-2009, 08:18
Its true, and the locals we asked sent us in the wrong direction,

the old people were determined to help me, and wouldnt let me out of the car for over an hour and a half.

once again sorry lads. :oops:

btw how big are those photos? :roll:

05-11-2009, 11:11
Fester you should start writing novels :roll:

I notice you didnt put yourself in the pictures, in your mountain dress!! but there was a brace of you (Andy and yourself) searching together :lol:


05-11-2009, 11:20
Fester, you foetus killer, if you only knew the effort that went into looking after those tinnie's, thank God I had the fragrant Fran to keep me awake. What made them taste all the better is that they were your's, from the 18 a tin carton I think :shock:

Nice story though you bugger.


05-11-2009, 11:28
Hi bobt
Are you sure these locals who kidnapped you didnt abuse you in anyway, what with all them sheep about a new comer to the area would of been a real treat for them in the remote area what we were in :-D
I decided to put the BIG pics up so you wouldnt "Wander" off the thread mate ;)
The main thing is it all turned out ok and we didnt end up dragging your body off the hill :shock: Or should i say Tika308 (Andy) didnt, as its him that does all the dragging :-D
Jokes aside you wasnt injured so thats all that counts at the end of the day
and it made a brilliant week even more exciting and also gave me something to take the P**s out of :-D

Ive left the pics of me and andy up the hill in our "Realtree" Dresses for another post that will be going on shortly along with some very very interesting pictures of yourself i mite add :shock: ;)

05-11-2009, 11:35
Hi John
I think you got the better end of the job mate with better company ;) Im not saying the company i was in (Andys) was bad mind. We did have the fits of laughter on several occasions whilst hunting down "walkabout" along the river edge and woodland :shock: Im sure Andy will add to this at some point no doubt :-D
If my calculations are correct i think you owe me 2156 for them tinnys :-D or i will settle for a cinnamon bun, The choice is yours my friend :-D

05-11-2009, 11:54
Ayup Nick, good story, made me laugh. :lol:

What about when you and the other half o right said Fred went looking for "walkabout" and were shouting "BOB" and after about an hour had passed you looked at eachj other and asked why you were shouting BOB when his name was Mike. :lol:

Yep, JAYB deffo got the best job, relaying on the "brace" of radios with the mountain rescue. ;)

I actually thought at one point jingzy had got his mates to do a fly past when 2 jets came screaming past. :shock:


05-11-2009, 12:01
Hi wadas
Thats one of the things that made us P**s when we realised his name was mike :???: Bloody hell he would of turned up an hour earlier if we called him by his proper name. He probably walked rite past us and thought why the F**k are they standing in the middle of the woods shouting BOB the silly twats and just walked off :-D
I actually thought our comms expert had called in an air drop of supplies for us or it was JAYB having another crate of bitter dropped in :shock:

05-11-2009, 13:09
Excellent story, edge of the seat stuff right there! :lol:


Slow day at work all round then? :oops:

05-11-2009, 13:51
Made me piss mate, im just drying my eyes while i type this :-D
Thats a rare copy you have there, Probably one of my 1st editions by fester/penguine publishers. Thats in the same league as fly fishing by JR hartley :shock:
The dark chap in the middle gives it away as a 1st edition. The latter copies have him replaced by Andy wearing his realtree trousers :-D
Send it me and ill autograph it for ya :-D

05-11-2009, 14:11
Pissing myself !!! :D
It was certainly an entertaining afternoon !
You guys don't know the half of it, sat in the house drinking beer & molesting the dog!
There really was a geniune worry that Mikebob had suffered a misfortune of some kind & that he had carked it in a clump of heather somewhere on the hill .I near crapped myself when tony & I saw a barn owl fly onto a branch not thirty yards in front of us in the middle of the afternoon , surley an omen ? :shock:

I think the strangest part was the bizarre mixture of real concern ,macabre humour & the enormous number of suggestions as to what had actually happened to him . These included -

Alien abduction & probing (of course!)

Suicide / wandered into the wilderness leaving a nothing but a pile of clothes.

Eaten by one of the various feral wolves/leopards/scotch people as discussed over dinner the previous night .

That his cammo pyjamas were so effective in the Caledonian forest he actually became a part of it .

And my favourite - back at the house lying on hairy bikers double bed knocking one out ,with a pair of his undies over his face (sorry Bobt but we did have ALOT of time on our hands .)

All in all , I think we had more fun than we would admit to, When was the last time you played a game of hid & seek that involved mountain rescue ,walkie talkies(such a radio manner Patrick !!) , GPS , the police & an RAF fighter pilot flyby !!! (congrats to mikebob on getting bac to base without being spotted by anybody, any chance you could do it again next year? ) I can't think of a better icebraker for a bunch of people who never met each other before , we should market it as a team building event !

A big thank you to all the guys involved organising in the week , despite not getting a shot I had a whale of a time .Enjoyed some great stalking in some amazing scenery with great company (cheers Wadas) , saw an Eagle & Black Cock for the first time & laughed & laughed .

Cheers Everyone


05-11-2009, 15:30
I have been nicknamed bob for such a long time I answer to it, thanks again lads :oops:

I dont remember any "probing" during my abduction, but got my arse chewed off on my return so probably never noticed.

05-11-2009, 15:39
I am afraid that i will have to insist on charging anyone who puts up anymore photos of Todd.

As his official agent I will require 250 for every image produced on this site of Todd, and I expect a royalty fee from Fester if this is his first book.

Roger I hope the trip back was not too onerus for you, but a word of advice ;) please do not mention about the Black Cock when you were out with Wada's. In time the medication he has been given by the clinic may work, but it will be sometime. Lets hope it does not fall off before Autumn finishes :lol: :lol: :lol:


05-11-2009, 15:45
I offered to buy everyone a curry, or takeaway as a way of saying sorry until it was pointed out the nearest one was 60 miles away and even the jocks wont deliver that far. :lol:

05-11-2009, 16:36
Really looks like this is the preferred destination if you like the craic! :-D

05-11-2009, 17:07
now i see why fester text me at 7am this morning,what a pisser,i really do have tears running down my face as i type this.csl your book just finished it for me mate :lol: .i bet mike i mean bob can still see the look on my face when i took him out for a stalk on the friday afternoon when i told him to sit and stay, on this occasion he was a good lad and never moved from the spot :lol: :lol: .it all ended well bob i mean mike so at least we can take the piss now ;) :lol:

05-11-2009, 17:11
You should of told us all that it was your 1st "Black Cock" :shock: Ahh bless :lol:
We al would of been much more gentle with you in the evenings mate :-D

All money from my book goes to the "Fester phonebox service cards" trust along with a few other things............ :shock:

05-11-2009, 17:14
Where was my offer of a curry :shock:
only 60 miles away.....You could of walked that mate :-D
Then again.......................................

05-11-2009, 17:40
If I had known that the losing of Bob/mike would have raised such interest I would have arranged his kidnap and charged for it :-D :-D

I know there was a serious side to it, and the emergency services had to be involved, but what a laugh, he has now become the stuff of legend.

Fester, I shall pay my bar bill with a cinnamon bun, Should I hand it over or will the elephant's trunk take care of it :shock: :shock: :lol:

By the way I forgot to ask in a "neighbourly" sort of way, "is your Mother in" :-P :-P


05-11-2009, 18:01
I half expected my name being changed to "ABBO"

pheasant sniper 1
05-11-2009, 18:07
Sponge Bob seems more apropriate

Youre having to soak up a good bit :lol: :lol:


05-11-2009, 18:07
i did say that bobtmike :shock: i thought abbo would have stuck :shock: :lol: ,fest did get the day wrong it was on the thursday so it is 2 weeks today since the very day :-D

05-11-2009, 18:28
The cinnamon bun will do nicely but dont think i can handle another via the "Elephants trunk" method :shock: If i do i will have to wait till my "Mother is in" ;)
Sorry yes i did get the day wrong but that is a good thing as my foetis i shot was another day day older than i thought it was :-D
I must of got my days mixed up with all the excitement going on :lol:
So now its Bobt-mike-walkabout-abbo then :-D
Well mate at least you have taken it in good spirit and im only having a joke.............. ;)

05-11-2009, 19:47
good story,

csl, brilliant editing of the book :lol: :lol: Its easy to see that you cant turn your back without that bugger taking a snap with that phone. Got to say though, if we had found him, it would have been an easy drag out using his beard and tash it would have stopped his head getting caught in the tree stumps and heather. :-P Bob, to be honest, I think you could be put in a locked phone box and you would still get lost :twisted:

Fester, I will make a dictionary for you next year. Would you like it made into the queens finest cockney....... :roll:

05-11-2009, 22:36
Just about got over the tears of laughter. Well done Fest.

As far as 'knocking one out on MY double bed' goes, that's always going to give me a particularly unpleasant image :shock: , probably nightmares for the rest of my days. I can only suggest that one of my special Naga's as a suppository would keep him close enough to home to save us all the trouble of ever looking for him again.

To all of youse that went out high dining whilst us paupers were having chilli, you've been missing out on one of the highlights of life (ask Rodge). I still have plenty of naga if anyone's feeling brave :lol:

06-11-2009, 10:14
But you have lovley hair,

some of us tried the chilli, :shock:

Heym SR20
06-11-2009, 13:11
Would how long it would take for the Elephant to rear its trunk and join in the search.

Fester please could you recount that part of the story again!!!

06-11-2009, 14:18
Hi Jingzy
Been wondering where you were :-D
The queens finest cockney would be very nice thanks buddy :-D
Did you say You could lock Bobt in a phone box and he would still get lost :???: That wouldnt be the phone box at the base of heartbreak ridge would it.........The phone box i put my fester services cards in.... :-D
Hope your keeping well buddy

06-11-2009, 14:51
Did you say You could lock Bobt in a phone box and he would still get lost :???: That wouldnt be the phone box at the base of heartbreak ridge

The one I got to just as I was kidnapped? I didnt even get to look inside.

09-10-2010, 20:34
Having just read this Monty Python springs to mind:lol:

09-10-2010, 21:06
its all true:lol:

09-10-2010, 21:38
I'm not doubting it, it's just hilarious:)