Contents of a not-so-little boy’s pockets

[Foxyboy43]

Came back this early morning from another successful fox outing and as ever en route back to bed emptied my shooting suit’s many pockets on to the handiest safe, horizontal surface, then back to bed, pausing only long enough to respond to Mrs FB’s usual friendly greeting of “are you totally mad? Now call me old-fashioned but I find that at times like this it is best to say nothing, just sneer smile in the safety of the thankfully still-dark bedroom, slip silently between the sheets and await the inevitable incoming….
Oddly enough, not a further poisoned barb word came my way, so braced for a more physical response I cleverly pulled the duvet to my chins and went to sleep….
Some time later I wakened and went in search of hrh - only to find her in the conservatory wearing one of those expressions taught to women from an early age - you know the one, the one that should be spoken in a Basil Fawlty voice and begs the question “personal best today in the lemon-sucking competition darling?” The cause of her displeasure was immediately revealed to me by “look at this table - if you can find it, I don’t know how I am to have my breakfast on it”.
And so dear friends this brings me to the point, if there is one, of this very post - let us imagine that you too have been out braving the elements in search of food or foxes and have just got back home in the early hours, cold, wet and exhausted - what do you do with the clutter contents of your pockets and where do you fling carefully set them aside!
Ideally answers should be accompanied by photographic evidence which will be tabled (!) as a key plank of my rearguard defence.
As an encouragement I offer Exhibit A for the defence prosecution - not bad at all, I think - honest!

Much obliged…

 

[aquarius11]

Big pockets then last time I left my stuff out I was threatened by the Mrs she would phone the police and say I'd gone mad in the house with a gun

 

[addjunkie]

Big pockets then last time I left my stuff out I was threatened by the Mrs she would phone the police and say I'd gone mad in the house with a gun

Id not have posted that picture on a public forum!

 

[willowbank]

Id not have posted that picture on a public forum!

Why not, I quite like the tablecloth?

WB

 

[Foxyboy43]

Big pockets then last time I left my stuff out I was threatened by the Mrs she would phone the police and say I'd gone mad in the house with a gun

Big pockets then last time I left my stuff out I was threatened by the Mrs she would phone the police and say I'd gone mad in the house with a gun

Not quite the support I was hoping for!
For clarity - the table, chairs and Ipad were not in my pockets. Just saying.

 

[Overlay]

is that all you obviously need a bigger coat and defo more pockets than that - wheres all the just in casey stuff spare batteries all mixed up small ball of bailer twine to tie the gates up, shut knife and a proper knife and dog leads x 2 and no sweets, no pom pom hat - what’s going on. you light weight

 

[Foxyboy43]

Id not have posted that picture on a public forum!

Again not quite the supportive response I crave was hoping for.
Normally I wouldn’t post it either but ”I was only carrying out orders”.

 

[Liveonce]

Why not, I quite like the tablecloth?

WB

Possibly because the rifle should have been locked away before climbing into the bed

 

[Tf223]

My photo will not help you!
My OCD etc means it all goes back into its place before bed, rifle ‘cleaned’ too (bore snake and oily rag over externals). Less because of the earache, but more conscious that the little ones will find enough jobs for me in the morning without me adding to that list!

 

[Foxyboy43]

is that all you obviously need a bigger coat and defo more pockets than that - wheres all the just in casey stuff spare batteries all mixed up small ball of bailer twine to tie the gates up, shut knife and a proper knife and dog leads x 2 and no sweets, no pom pom hat - what’s going on. you light weight

Well that is more like it O! Thank you - the brotherhood unites!
In truth all of the above and a few others were still in my Foxyboy onesie which always this morning doubled as my jimjams. God help me if the sainted Brunhilde Mrs FB ever rumbles it though strictly between ourselves the spare IR torch in the jimjams pocket has caused an occasional err, “disappointment”….

 

[Foxyboy43]

Possibly because the rifle should have been locked away before climbing into the bed

For that spirited assistance your name is going on mein liszt!

 

[Foxyboy43]

Well that helps me no end, thanks pal!
“oily rag over externals” - I cannot unthink that mental and I do mean mental, picture!

 

[Lever357]

Whilst I appreciate the humour of the post and its intentions, posting on a forum that you have openly breeched the terms of your FAC is not clever.

 

[flatliner]

Through other hallion

and I bet the fox is lying in the back of the jeep

 

[The Singing Stalker]

Are those candles, 'eat me, I’m a rabbit' scented? And of course the answer is to put everything into the gun room. No issue then. What do you mean, you don’t have a gun room?

 

[Foxyboy43]

Whilst I appreciate the humour of the post and its intentions, posting on a forum that you have openly breeched the terms of your FAC is not clever.

Well thank you for that advice. Presumably you meant “breached”?

 

[FrenchieBoy]

If you really wanted to throw the brown stuff in to the fan you could have put the foxes tail on the table as well.
Now that's when it would really be worth seeing what your misses' face looked like!

 

[Lever357]

Well thank you for that advice. Presumably you meant “breached”?

That's the one!!!

 

[Liveonce]

A beautiful thing to trusts the other half as you do, gun, bolt, ammo as you sleep

 

[Tf223]

In absence of information to the contrary it may be best to assume that the gun was removed from the cabinet the next morning for the clean… not uncommon, and I’d hate to start building the gallows for this one unless we really need it