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Thread: A huge loss

  1. #1

    A huge loss

    My Dad died yesterday.

    He was first diagnosed with Prostate cancer 7 years ago; it developed into secondary bone cancer around a year ago, and after a turbulent couple of weeks (in the last fortnight we were told that the cancer had spread rapidly and extensively, then he collapsed at home, the following day he was rushed by ambulance into hospital with concerns over his spine, I went with him to Clatterbridge last Friday and was told that he may only have 9 weeks or so left to live...and then yesterday rolled around), he died peacefully yesterday afternoon with my Mum and my Sister by his side.

    Why am I posting this on SD? Let me explain....

    I don't come from a farming/shooting/outdoorsy background or family. Both of my parents were born and raised in Warrington, a non-rural town in the NW of England. However - it was my Dad who, despite the better wishes of my Mum (and probably ground down a little thanks to the kind of mithering that only teenagers can do....) persuaded my Mum that I was in fact sensible enough to be bought an air-rifle as an early teenager. That ignited my passion for shooting, and now shooting & stalking represent a large part of what makes me who I am. Thanks to shooting I have been fortunate enough to gain a number of outstanding friendships - some of them are members on this site (and hopefully know who they are), some of them aren't - and so I owe my Dad a huge thank you for trusting me, encouraging me and indirectly facilitating some of the best friendships you could ever wish for.

    I'm not posting this to fish for sympathy or to bare my soul - that's not really me. But my Dad was the kind of bloke who really would try and help whoever he could - and so if recent events can help someone else, I'll draw a positive from that.

    FIRSTLY: if you, or anyone you know, is even remotely concerned that they may have symptoms of Prostate Cancer, then please go and get yourself checked out. This is an immensely hard post to write (...only a slight understatement...), but if doing so either directly or indirectly helps even one person avoid what my Dad went through, then that will be worthwhile as far as I'm concerned. I don't want his death to be in vain. (Link to info: )

    SECONDLY: I have done 'Movember' previously, including with Dad one year. I will definitely be doing it again this year to raise funds for research into Prostate Cancer. This is an unashamed heads-up that I'll be sticking a post on SD asking for sponsorship. Even if only a couple of you on here can throw a few bob in, that will be immensely appreciated and will make a positive contribution.

    THIRDLY: Just take a moment to think about who introduced you to shooting/stalking.....Father, Brother, Mother, Friend, whoever....if you have had a fraction of the enjoyment out of the pastime that I've had over the years and have made friends through it in the same way that I have, then consider yourself a fortunate individual and take another few seconds to mutter a "Thank you" under your breath to that person.

    This is me and my Dad, taken by my Brother about 14 months ago - this is how I'll remember him:
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch

    "...Nicely just doesn't cut the cheese....." A new twist on management-speak courtesy of a colleague.

  2. #2
    I'm very sorry, mate. And what a lovely tribute to your Dad

    All the best

    A Man should be wise, but never too wise. He who does not know his fate in advance is free of care

  3. #3
    +1 a fitting tribute to a fine role model.

  4. #4
    Having had two Abdominal ops for bowel C i would advise us to never bin the poo tests that are sent out but to get them done and checked.

  5. #5
    A great tribute and you show an immense strength of character to be able to pen such wisdom at a very hard time. I watched my mother in law die of bone cancer, I'm convinced one of the worst ways to go for the sufferer and the family. All the best Sir.

  6. #6
    Merlin - Your post must have been one of the hardest you have ever made, I respect you for your courage and honesty in the way that you have written it. I also think that we all owe you a debt of thanks for the words of advice/wisdom you have written, certainly something that we should all take note of.
    My sincere condolences to both You and All Of Your Family at this sad loss of what sounds like a great man who was obviously such an inspiration to you.
    Regards and Best Wishes.

  7. #7
    condolances mate to all your family, ive lost three members of my family so i know a little of what youve gone through,regards doug,

  8. #8
    A fine picture and tribute to your Dad.
    He will always be with you.
    Last edited by private fraser; 26-02-2015 at 10:55.
    "Don't say I didnae warn ye !"

  9. #9

    Sad to read of your loss and well done for a fitting tribute and important 'heads-up'

    All of us who have lost family, one way or another, will know what you are going through at an always difficult time for all - hope it eases soon.


  10. #10
    My condolances in this sad time.Your dad will be so proud looking down on you.I have an appointment for Gastroscopy/colonoscopy a week today,i was not going to go but having read your post its changed my mind and may well be a life saver for me..Thanks so much..A.T.B..Graeme.

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