True Friendship...

Are ye tired ae thay pish weak 'friendship' poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a
series ae
promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will no see any
cute wee smiley faces on this card .
Just the stone cold truth ae a great friendship.

1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get pished and plot revenge
Against the ******* who made ye sad.

2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.

3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I
Would probably want to be involved in.

4. When ye are scared -- I will take the pish oot ae ye every chance I
get, until you're NOT.

5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it
could be until YE STOP WHINGEING!

6... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words .

7... When ye are sick -- Stay the f*** away fae me until ye are well
again. I dinnae want whatever ye've goat.

8... When ye fa', I will laugh my heid aff at you, you dozy erse,
.........but then I'll help ye up.

9... This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pishing yer pants, everyone can see it, but only you
feel the true warmth.