..an adaptation.

Donald Trump was visiting Scotland to view his latest land acquisition for which he had plans to add golf courses, wind & solar power farms, a marina and an airport.

Wee Angus was deputised to show Mr Trump around the place and when they reached the far side of the estate they came across a tiny croft.

"JEEZ. WHATS THAT" said Mr Trump (he SHOUTS a lot?).

"That" replied wee Angus "Is ma hoos".

"YOUR HOUSE? JEEZ, IN THE MIGHTY USA WE GOT DOG KENNELS BIGGER THAN THAT"

On they wandered along a lane when a vintage Austin 7 came in the opposite direction.

"WTF IS THAT"?

"Och, thats a lovely old car which the owner has had from new".

A CAR!!! IN AMERICA THAT DAMN THING WOULD FIT IN THE TRUNK OF MOST OF MY CARS".

Further along they came across a farmer forking over the new season's potatoes.

"WHAT THE DAMN ARE THOSE TINY THINGS"?

"They, Sir, are new potatoes" replied the farmer.

POTOTOES? I DON"T DAMN WELL BELIEVE IT. IN AMERICA WE GOT POTATOES THE SIZE OF ONE OF YOUR SOCCER BALLS"

"Aye" replied wee Angus "but here we grow these to fit our mouths".