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Thread: Asda welcome

  1. #1

    Asda welcome

    The ASDA Greeter

    A very loud, greasy, unattractive, tattooed, welfare dependent, chav, minger, woman wearing a Celtic top walked into ASDA in Castlemilk (a sprawling council estate on Glasgow's south side) with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

    The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning madam, and welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'

    The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'F*ck naw, they're nae twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the f*ck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, thick or just stupid?'

    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam, 'replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice.
    Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA.'

  2. #2
    thats not funny just a normal day in scotland

  3. #3
    The ASDA Greeter

    A very loud, greasy, unattractive, tattooed, welfare dependent, chav, minger, walked into ASDA in Old Hill (a run down council estate in Falmouth Cornwall) with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

    The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning madam, and welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'

    The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'F*ck no, they're not twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the f*ck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, thick or just stupid?'

    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam, 'replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice.
    Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA.'
    Virtutis Gloria Merces

  4. #4
    Eye we've got them in Yorkshire too !!!
    Next time you're walking down the street and see a homeless person go buy them a sandwich and a coffee, change of fate and it could be you one day !!!

    BUY BRITISH !!!!

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy milnes View Post
    Eye we've got them in Yorkshire too !!!
    Yes I know, I watch the Jeremy Kyle show on telly sometimes.
    I don't know what they are saying half the time but their antics are fantastic ;-)

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by EMcC View Post
    Yes I know, I watch the Jeremy Kyle show on telly sometimes.
    I don't know what they are saying half the time but their antics are fantastic ;-)
    Trust me JK show has nothing on the real deal haha
    Next time you're walking down the street and see a homeless person go buy them a sandwich and a coffee, change of fate and it could be you one day !!!

    BUY BRITISH !!!!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy milnes View Post
    Trust me JK show has nothing on the real deal haha
    Really !
    I must renew my passport and come up some time, the trouble is I get dizzy when I go north of Bristol

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy milnes View Post
    Eye we've got them in Yorkshire too !!!
    Yup and in North Cornwall

  9. #9
    You Guy's don't have em all.

  10. #10
    ..just Google "People of Walmart" for the real pro's?
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it, hump it or learn from it then piss on it and walk away.

    "HOSPITALITY" - the art of making guests feel at home (when you wish they were).



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