Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Man Rules

  1. #1

    Man Rules

    The Man Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally, the guys' side of the story.

    We always hear "the rules"

    From the female side....

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!

    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.


    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it


    We need it up, you need it down.

    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports - It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides

    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!

    Strong hints do not work!

    Obvious hints do not work!

    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

    1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we


    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

    Not both.

    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during


    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We

    have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches,it will be scratched.

    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", We will act like nothing's


    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you

    don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..

    Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss

    such topics as Football.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. RoundIS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    There is a place on this planet for all of God's creatures, right next to my tatties and gravy!!!

  2. #2

  3. #3
    The last bit made me chuckle the most!!

  4. #4
    Excellent, I think I'll print it out and stick a copy to the washer, iron and hoover.
    Then I'll set off to work and when I get back at the weekend my lovely wife will have had time to fully study it and realise the error of the ways of the woman.
    Then we can live even more happily ever after!
    A cunning plan, No?

Similar Threads

  1. forestry rules
    By mickjgardner in forum Deer Stalking General
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 27-03-2010, 13:41
  2. New FC rules
    By griff in forum Deer Stalking General
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 24-02-2010, 11:22
  3. Apathy rules
    By griff in forum Deer Stalking General
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 12-08-2009, 16:49
  4. Man Rules
    By Drew in forum Jokes & Funnies
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-04-2008, 12:48
    By TONY M in forum Jokes & Funnies
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 17-03-2008, 15:00

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts