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Thread: Truly terrible cooking

  1. #1

    Truly terrible cooking

    I had a spare half hour last night so I actually turned the TV on (rare occasion)
    I flicked about with the remote and found a program called Riverside Chefs. Basically, it was two Londoners cooking on an induction Hob that went peep , peep, peep , in an apartment overlooking the Thames. To my surprise they were cooking a venison pie .
    When the lad got to the stage of browning the meat off he turned to the camera and explained the cooking process:

    " we are going to be using some shoulder of venison , shoulder of venison is a tough meat so it needs a long and slow cooking"

    and then went on to say .......

    "If you look at a VENISON stood feeding in a field you will see it uses both its front legs to stand on all day which is why the meat is tough "


    Later he served the mashed potatoes that went with the pie on a chopping board ! Why would anyone want to eat steaming mashed potato off a chopping board, that's disgusting.
    I might go and do some Stalking This evening , see if I can't stalk my way into a herd of Venisons ......

    kind regards, Olaf
    Last edited by Olaf; 17-03-2016 at 06:42.

  2. #2
    Maybe their venisons came from Bushey Park or Richmond Park. If you go to either you will see plenty of venisons standing around on their front legs!
    They might even be standing on their back legs too!



  3. #3
    We had venison steak for tea last night from a Fallow venison I shot last week. We had it with chips on a proper plate and everything, we were being posh, we usually eat it off of a piece of slate with a little jug of jus on the side.

  4. #4


    Yah, me too, I rarely have the time to eat normal meals off a plate these days. I'm just not that refined anymore. if I manage to succeed in shooting a Venison later on , I will just pan fry some of its liver , thinly sliced , with some caramelised apples and crispy bacon.
    Problem is, it's quite a long day for me by the time I get home. So, I will most likely just throw it on an old roof slate , garnished with white truffle slices and a sprinkling of finely chopped flat leaf parsley and a onion and whisky sauce Served in a little crystal bowl.

  5. #5
    Thanks for making me laugh on the train to Slough! Sometimes I see venisons through the window.
    "Wishy washy hand-wringing diversified all encompassing liberal"

  6. #6


    Herds of venisons roam with wild haggis's I've heard! If you're quick off the mark you can get a two'fer when out stalking!

    I also have in my mind an image of a venison hand-standing whilst feeding, windmilling its back legs to keep balance! Haha!

    Townies...

  7. #7
    Just another aspect of selecting the right beast...

    Click image for larger version. 

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  8. #8
    SD Regular johngryphon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andyf View Post
    Just another aspect of selecting the right beast...

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Oh no! Surely not one of the rare Dancing Gay Venison`s!
    They are the tenderest of all!
    "you nae be needing these no more"
    I said as I slipped the knife through the cord

    সাম্বার হরিণ



  9. #9
    Brilliant!

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by johngryphon View Post
    Oh no! Surely not one of the rare Dancing Gay Venison`s!
    They are the tenderest of all!
    Hope it's name isn't Michael Flatulancy then!



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