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Thread: Guy walks into a bar.....

  1. #1

    Guy walks into a bar.....

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

    He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs the cue ball.

    To everyone's amazement, he sticks the ball in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your feckin' monkey just did?"

    "No, what?"

    "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

    The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

    Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.

    He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats it.

    Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats it.

    The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did just now?"

    "No, what?" replied the man.

    "Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his arse, pulled them out, and ate them!"

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. He's not as daft as he looks you know.," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to **** that cue ball out, he measures everything first now."
    I never make the same mistake twice.

    I make it five or six times.

    Just to be sure.

  2. #2
    "A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory." LLAP Leonard Nimoy 1931 - 2015

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