Heard on BA flight leaving Heathrow. "This is the Captain, shortly we will reach 35,000 feet and will be switching over to auto pilot for the rest of the journey to Alicante", not realising he'd left the intercomm on he turned to the co-pilot and said. "When we level off I'm going for a cr@p then I'm going back to the galley and I'm going to sh@g the @rse off that new blonde stewardess". The stewardess on hearing this went running down the aisle to tell the Captain he'd left the intercomm on, as she passes one old lady the old lady said. "No need to rush deary, he's going for a good **** first".