Just been gang raped by a group of mime artists...... they did
unspeakable things to me................



I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady,
two minutes later she said "will you sod off I'm trying to have a
****!!".



Brought the missus some crotchless knickers yesterday, It had nothing
to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on
her broomstick..



Now on sale at IKEA - LESBO beds, no nuts or screwing involved, itís
all tongue and groove...............



A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say
itís definitely race related ....................



Ginger bloke goes to the docs about a rash on his ********. The doc
says "how often do you have sex?" He says "Once or twice a year!" The
doc say "that's not a rash mate, its RUST".


I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but
explaining they were not a dating agency...................


Kate Middleton goes to the Queen and says "every time I suck William's
knob I get indigestion", the queen says "have you tried Andrews"