One job, three applicants, scotsman, englishman and paddy.
Gaffer asks, "What's the fastest thing you know of ?"
scotsman, "Sound, it travels at 762 miles per hour at sea level"
englishman, "Light, it travels at 168,000 miles per second"
paddy, "Diarrhea at night time, before you can make a sound and before you can turn the light on you've **** yourself"