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Thread: A few short ones.

  1. #1

    A few short ones.

    David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.

    From next week the forms will only be printed in English.
    I was feeling down earlier so I dipped my Muslim friend in bleach,

    I thought I'd try to lighten Mahmood.
    Sky news report. The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.

    They sent in 3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement. It was a mortar attack.

    The missus asked if she pleased me in bed.

    I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . . . "What trick?" she asked?

    "The one where you shut the f**k up and go to sleep!"
    The Japanese government has thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out.

    They said they were delicious!

    My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.

    It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles and my c*ck out, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!!

    Why do Women live longer than men?

    Answer: Shopping never causes heart attacks,

    But Paying the bill does.

    What's the definition of indefinitely?

    When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in definitely!


    "My Dad and I went on a deer hunting trip. We saw a huge 18 point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shot it right in the asshole," Little Johnny said.

    The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum," she said. "Rectum, you bet it rectum, shot his balls clean off."


    Why are men Thinkers and women Talkers?

    Because men have two heads and women have four lips.

    Why do midgets laugh when they run, because the grass tickles their balls.
    Last edited by squirrelnutkin; 21-05-2011 at 14:52.

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