I was chatting to a blonde bird in an Essex club when she commented that she was out celebrating her birthday.

I said, "Oh happy birthday, I tell you what, if I can guess how old you are you owe me a blow job."

"You're on" She replied, "There's no way you're getting it."

I said, "Hmm, 22."

"F**k me!" She replied shocked, "How did you guess that?"

"I'm psychic" I smiled, "Plus it says it on your badge."