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Thread: When insults had a certain class

  1. #1

    When insults had a certain class

    Completely non stalking related but hope you enjoy all the same..
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    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words!
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    *A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
    That depends, Sir, said Disraeli on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
    *


    He had delusions of adequacy. - Walter Kerr

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    He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill
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    I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

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    He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
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    Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it. - Moses Hadas

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    He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends - Oscar Wilde
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    I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
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    Cannot possibly come to first night, will come to second night, if there is one. -* Winston Churchill in response.

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    I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here. - Stephen Bishop

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    He is a self-made man and worships his creator. - John Bright

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    I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb
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    He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson

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    He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker
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    His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

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    Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go - Oscar Wilde
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    He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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    He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder
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    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.**But this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx*
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  2. #2

  3. #3
    He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang

    Could have been said about just about every Chancellor of the Exchequer since 1945.

  4. #4
    Lady Aster (I think) to Churchill "Sir, if you were my husband i'd poison your cup of tea" - " Madam, if you were my wife i'd drink it !"

  5. #5
    "Mr Churchill, you are drunk!"
    "Yes, Ma'am and you are ugly, but tomorrow I will be sober...."

  6. #6
    "This officer would be out of his depth in a car park puddle."

    "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

  7. #7
    Churchill had all the best lines

  8. #8
    After Liverpool had played very badly, Bill Shankly was maintaining an ominous silence in the dressing room prior to ripping the players to bits. The goalie, who had been nutmeg-ed, decided to get things over with and said "Sorry, boss, I should have kept my legs together"

    "Naw son", came the withering retort, "yer mither should have kept her legs thegither"

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by The Seeker View Post
    Completely non stalking related but hope you enjoy all the same..
    *
    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words!
    *
    *
    *A member of Parliament to Disraeli: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
    That depends, Sir, said Disraeli on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
    *


    He had delusions of adequacy. - Walter Kerr

    *
    He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill
    *

    I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

    *
    He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
    *

    Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it. - Moses Hadas

    *
    He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends - Oscar Wilde
    *

    I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    *
    Cannot possibly come to first night, will come to second night, if there is one. -* Winston Churchill in response.

    *
    I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here. - Stephen Bishop

    *
    He is a self-made man and worships his creator. - John Bright

    *
    I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb
    *

    He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson

    *
    He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker
    *

    His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

    *
    Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go - Oscar Wilde
    *

    He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    *
    He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder
    *

    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.**But this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx*
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
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    I enjoyed reading that, a very clever eloquent guy Churchill.

  10. #10
    Mr W S Churchill had a fine turn of insult about him, see my tagline for an example.....
    I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, but it was only some fecker with a torch bringing me more work

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