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Thread: Venison v Beef - Scientific flavour test

  1. #1

    Venison v Beef - Scientific flavour test


    Controversy has long raged about the relative quality and taste of
    venison and beef as gourmet foods. Some people say that venison is
    tough, with a strong "wild" taste. Others insist that venison's flavor
    is delicate. An independent food research group was retained by the
    Venison Council to conduct a taste test to determine the truth of these
    conflicting assertions once and for all.

    First a Grade A Choice Holstein steer was chased into a swamp a mile and
    a half from a road and shot several times. After some of the entrails
    were removed, the carcass was dragged back over rocks and logs, and
    through mud and dust to the road. It was then thrown into the back of a
    pickup truck and driven through rain and snow for 100 miles before being
    hung out in the sun for a day.

    After that it was lugged into a garage, where it was skinned and rolled
    around on the floor for a while. Strict sanitary precautions were
    observed throughout the test, within the limitations of the butchering
    environment. For instance, dogs and cats were allowed to sniff and lick the steer
    carcass, but were chased away when they attempted to bite chunks out of

    Next a sheet of plywood left from last year's butchering was set up in
    the basement on two saw horses. The pieces of dried blood, hair and fat
    left from last year were scraped off with a wire brush last used to
    clean out the grass stuck under the lawn mower.

    The skinned carcass was then dragged down the steps into the basement
    where a half dozen inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men
    worked on it with meat saws, cleavers and dull knives. The result was
    375 pounds of soup bones, four bushel baskets of meat scraps, and a
    couple of steaks that were an eighth of an inch thick on one edge and an
    inch and a half thick on the other.

    The steaks were seared on a glowing red hot cast iron skillet to lock in
    the flavor. When the smoke cleared, rancid bacon grease was added along
    with three pounds of onions, and the whole conglomeration was fried for
    two hours.

    The meat was gently teased from the frying pan and served to three
    blindfolded taste panel volunteers. Every one of the members of the
    panel thought it was venison. One of the volunteers even said it tasted
    exactly like the venison he had eaten in hunting camps for the past 27
    years. The results of this scientific test show conclusively that there
    is no difference between the taste of beef and venison.

  2. #2
    Nice one. Was crying with laughter as I tryed to read it out loud to my wife. Cheers

  3. #3

    nice write up but a bit over the top..quote.... "half dozen inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men worked on it with meat saws, cleavers and dull knives"

    see that part is over the top as i know there is only me or max one other in a druken stupper when i attempt butchering.

    LOL ..great write up ...................neil

  4. #4

  5. #5
    Wish I could claim that as my work but a mate emailed it to me. Probably should have put it in the jokes section but I thought that it had too much basis in fact fot that! JC

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