A young Iraqi lad signs pro football contract with rangers F.C.....
He scores a hat trick on his debut and gets carried off shoulder high.
He rings home all excited to tell his mum the good news and asks how the family are.....
" How are we?" says his mum....
"The house has been bombed, your dad has been shot, your sister raped and iv`e been mugged and robbed at gunpoint. ........why the **** did you have to bring us to Govan?"