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Thread: Compo competition

  1. #1

    Compo competition

    I started a lighthearted competition and now realise I hijacked the thread.

    So, apologies to Hunting Solutions and the New Ground thread.

    The competition is for the best 10-man Compo ration pack story and the prize is 6 tins of Compo sausages.

    EDITED TO ADD a closing date. Shall we say 25 July 13?

    Leader so far: Harry Mac with

    "Shortly after me and my mates joined our regiment we went on Exercise Eternal Triangle; one of the big FTXs we used to have in Germany, with virtually unrestricted movement acros huge tracts of land. One night my mate's troop got bumped (attacked) and as they set off out of their hide his commander told him to put breakfast in the BV (Boiling Vessel) so that at least they'd get a hot breakfast for their trouble. Two hours later they pulled up in a new hide and after doing all the usual ocupation drills, the commander says, "get breakfast out then". When he pulled the cans out of the BV there was one of chocolate, sweets and matches, and one of mixed veg. He'd been so scared of showing a light that he'd just grabbed the first two cans that came to hand. His commander was none too chuffed and I think he explained things with gusto. From that day on my mate was known as "Mixed Veg"."


    Over to you.
    Last edited by charadam; 25-06-2013 at 16:59.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by charadam View Post
    I started a lighthearted competition and now realise I hijacked the thread.

    So, apologies to Hunting Solutions and the New Ground thread.

    The competition is for the best 10-man Compo ration pack story and the prize is 6 tins of Compo sausages.

    Leader so far: Harry Mac with

    "Shortly after me and my mates joined our regiment we went on Exercise Eternal Triangle; one of the big FTXs we used to have in Germany, with virtually unrestricted movement acros huge tracts of land. One night my mate's troop got bumped (attacked) and as they set off out of their hide his commander told him to put breakfast in the BV (Boiling Vessel) so that at least they'd get a hot breakfast for their trouble. Two hours later they pulled up in a new hide and after doing all the usual ocupation drills, the commander says, "get breakfast out then". When he pulled the cans out of the BV there was one of chocolate, sweets and matches, and one of mixed veg. He'd been so scared of showing a light that he'd just grabbed the first two cans that came to hand. His commander was none too chuffed and I think he explained things with gusto. From that day on my mate was known as "Mixed Veg"."


    Over to you.
    No apologies needed mate, this should be a good thread!

  3. #3
    Bump - have added a closing date.

  4. #4
    Btt
    "Nonsense! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dista.....................".

  5. #5
    Btt
    "Nonsense! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dista.....................".

  6. #6
    Looks like Harry Mac is going to win this uncontested.
    "Nonsense! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dista.....................".

  7. #7
    I just cant think of a better one than that!!!

  8. #8
    I can think of a couple! But, I'm just about to take my rifle for a walk so will post later.
    MS

  9. #9
    Right, I'm back!
    Just over 10 years ago I was on Telic 1. It was a pretty rough time as the logistics hadn't quite caught up and we were based at a pretty disgusting bombed out airfield called Al Amarah. We had loads of compo but not much water and had to survive on just a couple of bottles a day for everything! The trouble was that all of the ten-packs contained exactly the same menu which was Menu B of the new boil-in-the-bag range which was some kind of lamb hotpot or casserole. It was rather warm - enough that the choccy bars were liquid! Most days went above 45 degrees which is pretty unpleasant in a glass cockpit with full body armour on!
    One day our task was to head up for a meeting with the Household Cav Regiment. My mate went into the HQ and I stayed with the aircraft. It was a bit 'sharp' to say the least with a main road about 150m away with a lot of traffic on it - well within RPG range! I decided it would be best to occupy a small trench nearby rather than risk getting taken out with the aircraft. Then it happened!!....
    First a slight rumbling and cramping of the stomach. (compo is designed to bung you up slightly and with a low water intake and an awful lot of menu B, I hadn't had a dump for a good few days!)
    There was simply no way this was going to subside, turtles head well out of the shell! I decided that I quite liked my little trench and at temperature of over 40 degrees, I did not want to share it with anything smelly! Thankfully there was a small but fairly thick bush just to my front which was far enough away but gave me cover from the road. A quick dash and I was there! Anyone watching would have maybe thought that they had just seen a man grow a third leg! Job done and back to the trench.
    But that's when something further happened which still haunts me to this day! The country was littered with wild/feral dogs which roamed around menacingly. We shot loads as they were actually very dangerous when in large packs. I spotted a rather large one on his own who was scenting the air and appeared to be stalking me. As he got closer I had the rifle ready just in case but he then veered away. He was actually stalking my larger than average turd! He eventually found it and promptly ate the whole lot. Well - I was retching my ring up and it still makes me gag just thinking about it! Menu B recycled is in fact top dog food it would appear!
    Imagine him licking your face!
    MS

  10. #10
    Oh, you can keep your prize though if it has been opened and the middle one is missing!
    http://www.arrse.co.uk/lamp-sandbag-...60s-70s-3.html
    MS

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